For those readers who have not previously read my earlier articles in this series, the inspiration for these articles came from turning forty. I decided to make this year a year I focus on bettering myself and working to improve all areas of my life. I believe that life is a journey, and we should always try to become better versions of ourselves. This piece will focus on how we can become better mothers to our children. Motherhood is a life experience that is ever changing and gives countless opportunities to grow and evolve. As stated in my previous articles, I do not profess to have any more knowledge in these areas than anyone else, just a desire to learn from the past, from those around me, and the desire to become the very best person I can be.
Be Willing To Change What Isn’t Working.
Mothers all have an internal sense of the best way to parent our children. We listen to our instincts and whether we realize it or not, either fashion our parenting techniques after how we were parented, or in direct contrast to those methods that we feel have failed us. If you have a child that simply hasn’t responded to our previous methods of discipline and guidance, be willing to modify parenting techniques. Different temperaments and personalities can vary greatly in their responses to different parenting methods. Don’t let pride or stubbornness keep you in the same unhealthy pattern with your children if it simply isn’t working. Be open to accepting advice and guidance from others who have been there, or even a doctor or counselor if need be.
Don’t Be A Martyr Mother.
Martyr mothers are those who won’t seek out any enjoyment or autonomy for themselves and spend every minute of every waking day tending to the needs of their family. They relish being able to tell others that they haven’t had a bubble bath, seen a movie or been out to a restaurant without their children in ten years. This is very unhealthy and certainly negatively affects the children from time to time. It is only human nature to desire a certain amount of time and space away from the kids and home. Take it, enjoy it, and let it rejuvenate you. It will only make you a more patient, loving, happy and giving parent to your children.
Make Your Relationship With Your Spouse The Best It Can Be.
The happier the relationship is with your life partner, the happier you will be. Those warm feelings of love and contentment can not help but trickle down to the children of the family. Love your partner, allow your partner to love you and make the time to work out any issues between you. Your children will benefit from this in countless ways.
Forgive Yourself For Mistakes You Made As A Younger Parent.
Women in their twenties and thirties have less life experience behind them than women in their forties. Less life experience, wisdom and challenges met and overcome can sometimes lead to parenting mistakes. If you have a large catalog of mistakes you feel you made with your children in your younger years, forgive yourself and move on. A parent who forgives themselves, exemplifies the value of personal growth through trial and error, which is a wonderful gift to give your children.