It used to drive me crazy, I could overhear my husband on the phone making plans with a friend as plain as day. But after he hung up I could ask what his plans were and he would say he didn’t have any, hadn’t made any didn’t even know what I was talking about. At first I was sure he was keeping some secret from me and would get furious at him for lying to me. This usually led to a big fight and I still didn’t know what time he was going fishing.
This didn’t only effect his plans though, it also included any and all plans we made together. If we were having people over for dinner I could say “what time did you tell your dad to be here”? The response was always the same, “we didn’t really set a time”, mind you I knew he had because I heard him, yes I am a nosy person and I tend to eavesdrop, but if I didn’t I would never know anything.
I just didn’t get it, my otherwise loving husband was blatantly lying to me for no apparent reason. Granted I do tend to over react at times, but this was clearly a serious problem. Its not that I need to know his every move but shouldn’t he want to tell me things? I tell him things, things he never wanted to know. I mean I’m not stupid, I know you don’t go visit someone for 3 hours and talk about absolutely nothing. Really, how was I supposed to live the rest of my life never knowing when he was leaving, when he was coming back, what time I had to be there, or for that matter when to take the roast out of the oven?
Then one day I noticed something. We were on our way to my mother’s house (a two hour drive) and I didn’t get much sleep the night before so I was not my usual talkative self. I really just wanted to go to sleep but I couldn’t because he kept talking. Who he had seen recently, where he was thinking about going, and all sorts of gossip about everyone. I found out a lot that day but only because I was too tired to ask any questions.
It’s still not as easy as you would think to get info out of him. Mainly because you have to resist all temptation to ask anything. You can’t question or for that matter show any interest in any of it. No matter how juicy the gossip is you must resist the urge to ask for more details. If I can do this he will tell me EVERYTHING!
I must say that I am relieved my husband was not keeping some deep dark secret from me, but I think I may be more annoyed that he only wants to tell me things that I seem to have no interest in knowing and mostly when I don’t feel like listening. It seems as though I was certainly right about one thing. He truly enjoys annoying me.