I was desperate and in the middle of a breakdown.
You showed up at a time when I needed some attention.
You were my distraction for a short period of time.
You longed for more and I couldn’t give it to you.
You asked why and I never gave you an answer.
I woke up in the middle of a nightmare.
There I was alone because I stupidly pushed you away.
I’m distorted and I don’t know what to do about it.
You gave me hope but I threw you out because of my insecurities.
I know I was desperate.
Desperate for someone to love but once I had that.
I didn’t know what to do with it.
I didn’t know how to make you happy because I was so self-involved.
You gave and you gave.
I just took and took.
I never offered you anything.
I never even took the time to say thank you.
I was in the middle of self-destructing.
So close to the edge I couldn’t see straight.
I was unaware of what I had.
A second chance came knocking on my door.
I was close to being saved.
By an angel that saw passed me and could see the truth.
I finally had someone that saw the good in me.
Still I lost it because I ignored the advice given.
I was almost out of my funk when I was sucked back in.
I’m always stuck in limbo even though I had a chance to get out.
Someone was finally sent to me but because of my lack of care.
I scared away the only person that has ever loved me.
Now I sit here alone and fearful of myself.
I’m in the middle of my self-loathing.
Copyright ©2005 Lanna