Someone once asked me how I could possibly have an opinion about marriage whilst sitting in my singleton chair, living my singleton life (at 30 years old too oh dear!). Although I have never been married I have lived with marriage all my life. My opinion may not be the same as everyone’s; however I do have one that suits me. And at the end of the day, if it’s me doing the marrying one day (fingers crossed for the love of god!) then I am also entitled to my own opinion. The one that I have is that if marriage is not for life with the one person that you are meant to love beyond belief and the only person that you could ever see yourself being with, then why get married?
You can probably tell that my parents are still married and have been now for nearly 40 years (well done by the way!). From what I can see, they are happier now then they have ever been before. Sure they have had their ups and downs (was I an up or a down I wonder?), but this is what makes you work at marriage and become stronger than ever.
Some may think that I could never truly have a marriage where my fella would never want to go out and sow his wild oats all over town. Why wouldn’t my man want to be faithful to his soul mate though? Some believe that all men at one stage or another cheat on their wives because it’s a ‘man thing’. Some get married and expect their partners to cheat as in certain countries it’s ‘the done thing’ and simply decide to turn a blind eye to what’s happening around them as they get looked after well. Whatever your thoughts are about marriage is what you will receive when you are married.
As with life, we all live by one law – the law of attraction. What we think and feel about, we attract about.
If I ever thought that I would want to stray from my husband to be (as if I could when I’m to marry Brad Pitt), then I will simply not get married. If it was the case that I thought that I could marry and still have hot passionate affairs, then obviously I would not have met the man I’m supposed to be with (Brad, how could this be?).
Now I’m not saying for one minute that if you are in a violent relationship make every effort for it to work. No one deserves to be in any kind of relationship like that and sometimes people continue to remain in a life like that, but why? Life is meant to be amazing, we are all supposed to absolutely love life – but by being stuck in an abusive or violent relationship is not making your life amazing, so why hang on in there?
Why remain in an unhappy marriage even if there is no abuse or violence? What if your man showed his true colors (and they were non to pretty) before marriage? Why commit yourself to a lifetime of unhappiness if the person you are with is not the person that you can honestly see yourself with until the end?
Off course different cultures across the world have different views of marriage, but they do all revolve around one same intention – Love. Don’t they? And if not, then what is the absolute need and urgency to get married? We are no longer living in a time where a woman needs a man to survive, or a man to feel duty bound to look after a woman. So with this in mind, why get married if you don’t believe in your heart that this is the person for you?
In modern society separating is becoming so much more popular than it ever was in any other time. Is this because divorce has now been made a lot easier and simple for people who have married into something that they weren’t entirely sure of in the first place? Whatever your reason for getting married, is it a fair and just reason not just to yourself, but to your partner also?
That’s one thing that I don’t want to overlook – the person that is on the other side of the marriage to be (you got it – Brad Pitt). That person could have strongly believed that they are to marry their soul mate. But they also have a mind that is powerful enough to understand that their ‘soul mate’ may be unhappy after some time. People that are not meant to be together will not stay together even through marriage. They will find away of living through that marriage but still getting what they need from the outside world. Some people believe that even though they not entirely happy they will never release the marriage. Why would you want to continue living in unhappiness? Wouldn’t it be better to release your partner in this case?
Children are off course a main aspect in this reality, however if my parents were not happy, I would not want them to stay together setting a bad example for me in my future relationships. Off course I am an adult and not a small child, however, wouldn’t it be better if the marriage wasn’t just an illusion of hope? After all, we do all follow in the footsteps of our parents when it comes to relationships. Some may disagree, however when looking at it a little more deeply, a couple that have been truly happy and worked at their marriage will also have a child or children with the same view a lot of the time.
But do the young adults of this world have good role models for marriage today? Well that off course depends upon what they have seen to be a good marriage.
Marriage also should not be just about having children. If it was, why not opt for a surrogate or adopting? In my view it is about the love and commitment of finding the one that will rock your world not just for a few good years or to pop out a couple of kids, but until the very end.
Before getting married, ask yourself if you are the type of person that can share your bed and bathroom, kitchen space and remote? If the answer is no, then why get married? If you are someone who wants a family but your partner does not, then is getting married the right choice?
After all said and done, do you really know your partner – have you gone through good times and bad? Have you seen them without your rose colored glasses on and is this the one you can never be without?
There is no rule that states that we have to get married anymore. Ladies, we will not be considered ‘old maids’ or dare I say it ‘spinsters’ if we choose not to marry. After all, what is marriage these days but a piece of paper to some?
Off course I am not in a position to judge others views of marriage; however I am in a position to decide what I want for myself. And what I do want and strongly believe I will have is after meeting that one person who makes me realize that I would never want another man in my life, the person that I just couldn’t imagine myself being without, the man that will take me away from my singleton life; this is the man that I will marry and be blissfully happy with until death do us part.
So Brad, isn’t it about time you started looking at re locating?