To put it mildly, breaking up with the guy that you thought was forever (but turned out not to be), is nothing short of a minefield. What makes things even harder is trying to locate those pesky mines.
So what happens if that messed up ex keeps giving out mixed signals when he knows you still have feelings for him? Is he just taking advantage of your crappy vulnerable predicament or does he actually want to get back together?
After being put through the mills once whilst going through the break up, it doesn’t seem fair for that ex to be able to gain control once again by making you hang over every messed up text or email, does it? Nope – it’s not fair and your ex is being horrifically selfish by putting you through this once again.
However, what if there was that slight glimmer of hope (even way way in the distance) of getting back together with the forever? Before jumping straight in with the next set of embarrassing situations, maybe it’s about time to learn how to read the signs.
So, what signs should we look out for to signify that the ex wants to give it another go? Actually and more importantly, how can we tell the false signs a mile off to save any further ridiculous behavior after the break up? Good god, just how hard is it to read signs these days?
Don’t worry, most of us weak folk have walked down this shameful road of being used and abused at least once before. We are all human after all and are allowed to make the silliest of mistakes. But what if we already knew what we needed to look out for? Could it save us just one small smidgen of self respect never to be lost on that excuse of an ex ever again…?
Possibly. And that my friends would have been good enough for me.
The Social Connection
Do you still have each other still on facebook? If so, do you chat regularly? Is it him initiating the chat most of the time? Yes? This guy may possibly be looking to get back together again, or he simply has not let go yet.
Or – the more realistic course of events:
Do you send messages on chat and find him sending one word replies or god forbid, not replying at all? Do you then go on to send private messages in the fear that your facebook chat is ‘playing up’ and he just didn’t receive the chat message?
Do you find yourself constantly stalking, sorry I mean checking his profile and relationship status?
Lesson One – Just because his relationship status still says single, does not actually mean that he is single. He could be dating all and sundry sowing his wild oats all over town for your knowledge.
Do you think he is as obsessed with stalking your profile page for any updates? Hell no – if this dude still wanted you, he would get in touch and tell you so!
Remove delete and block your ex from your facebook. This is not for his benefit, but for your own. You have to stop the obsessing somewhere and sometime, so why not take a tip from one that knows just what facebook stalking can do to a person.
Do you really want to know that a friend of yours is now dating your ex? Urm, well I guess in that instance you would need to know, so scrub that one off the list of reasons for removing him. But other than that reason, you must remove him for your own sanity. Yes facebook is a brilliant social tool but when using it as a 007 spy tool it will only result in lunacy on your part driving you to insanity.
And if this bloke had any idea that you were doing the above, if he had any fleeting thoughts of ‘togetherness’ again, they will fade into the background whilst your new stalker image gets thrust into the foreground.
Me, a Booty Call? Never!
When you call or text him, does he reply immediately? If so, he could be waiting for you to make the first move.
If not then join the club. Does that sap only get back to you at a suitable time for him? Yes? Then be careful dear one as you are no longer a priority to him.
Does he actually call or text you ever? If so great! But at what time? What the hell are those drunken calls that he makes at 4am all about?
Lesson Two – 4am calls are certainly not to ask how you are and what you have been up to! No siree – a call at anything past 10.30pm indicates one thing and one thing alone! Do not be duped into thinking that he just wants to come over and say hi, this user is after a booty call and since he already knows that you (unfortunately) can’t say no, you are first on his hit list to call.
As hard as it seems you have to stop answering the phone after 10.30pm to this looser. If he wanted to chat and talk seriously, he would do so at a normal hour. Put it this way, he could have been out on a date and that date may not have put out for him, so who’s he going to call? Certainly not the ‘ghost busters’.
Learn from one that could not resist the thought that he just wanted to get back together at any time of the day or night. From out of the blue ‘Easy target’ now springs to mind!
The Text Appeal
When you see him out on the town at night, does he come over to say hi? If so, this guy is trying his hardest to be a pleasant sort of chap.
If not, you really now do belong to a great club.
Is he avoiding all eye contact with you, yet sending crude texts letting you know he will be calling later on? Yes? Your ex is an arse but are you still hopeful?
Lesson Three – Get over it my dear. He may belong to you for just enough time it takes for him to be a ‘man’ in the bedroom, but watch how quickly someone can throw their ugly pants back on and run out of the door when there is no love lost.
When receiving crude texts from the ex, with as much dignity as you can muster up, send a short sharp reply letting him know that you no longer require his loving as you have someone else warming up the bed for you (even if you don’t).
I just wish one of my pals had managed to fight me to the ground, forcibly remove my cold clamped fingers from around that phone, stolen it and done exactly that for me as it would have saved me a life time of torture and embarrassment when inviting this excuse for a fella round for dinner and getting an answer saying ‘I just don’t think so’. Nice, real nice.
So to sum it all up, if you feel like you are being used and/or being taken advantage – then yes you have been used and/or been taken advantage of.
If you are generally not happy with that arse of an ex, why do you believe yourself to be better off with that arse of an ex? If you were blissfully happy before the break up yet you still broke up, why oh why would you be blissfully happy after the break up? The only reason for you to be blissfully happy after the break up is when living your single life to the full – without that pesky ex.
That’s the reason that the ex is an ex.
There is a lot to say for that time old saying ‘one should never go back’. Why? Because we ladies always deserve better and there are plenty more fish in the sea – that’s why.
But before going fishing, remember this: a woman’s intuition is usually dead on. Trust it.
Louise Bell ‘Is my Ex using me?’ Associated Content