As I was spending what seemed like an eternity in traffic this morning, I was browsing through the radio stations when I came across a topic that I am really getting tired of hearing. Once again, yet another talk show was discussing, why there are no good heterosexual single men. As I listened to the masses of women undoubtedly driving the radio’s switchboard into overload, I was treated to story after story about how these women (who obviously great catches themselves because they weren’t shy about letting the airwaves know it) were looking for Mr. Right, but all they find is duds. The women went on to say how they were all successful in their respective careers and have given so many men ample opportunity to prove themselves with the inevitable same results. I listened to how they had given so much of themselves prior relationships only to have their hearts ripped out of their chests and smashed on the floor like fragile china. I listened and listened and listened some more at then I began to analyze which is a trade habit of mine, so forgive me for taking a deep look into this so called epidemic and coming to an inevitable conclusion.
Don’t blame the male species for the shortage of good men, blame women and Hollywood instead. That’s right! Women are to blame for the shortage of good men. I know that women are seeing red and ready to go into full defense mode, but before you do, let me explain. As I listened to this and another TV and radio talk shows that attacked the same topic, there was one thing that each of these shows had in common. When the women were asked, what they were looking for in a man, each of them responded almost exactly the same. They each want someone athletic, tall, handsome, and educated with a successful career. A few even went on to say that he had to be an intimacy specialist to put it delicately. Each woman gave almost the same description of what they wanted in a man. Well of course they did. We have been pre-programmed by TV to dictate to each of us what is and what is not attractive. Not one of these women made the statement that they wanted a man who was supportive of them, listened to them and provided comfort at the various times of discomfort in their lives. None of them said that they wanted a friend who they could spend hours with just laughing and talking. Not one of them said that I want someone who will be a good father and family man.
I listened to these women and figured out where they could find these men that they described. We can find them on TV. They’re names are all over the place. Brad Pitt, Tom Brady, Will Smith, Mathew McConaughey are all the guys that these women want to marry. They have the perfect on screen image and flawless physiques. They are quite literally perfect or are they? I don’t think that women are looking into the most informative pieces of information into the lives of these stars. Tabloids tell all about the abilities of these stars to be good partners. Very few of them have quiet peaceful family lives. In fact, they are filled with lies, deceit and infidelity. Also keep in mind that these stories hit the news even though these stars spend millions of dollars on agents, image consultants and interview coaches to keep the public thinking of them as the perfect man.
Now let’s go back to the list of things that each of these women wanted in a man. They wanted someone athletic. Ironically, athletes are notorious for being the worst men in relationships. Also, seeing how an article earlier this year stated that 63.1% of adults in the US were overweight that eliminates 63% of the male population. Also, does the fact that a man has a few extra pounds make him a bad man? Next they wanted a tall man. Well depending on what site you visit, the average height of men in the US is between 5’8″ and 5’9″. Well, tall is generally defined as being over least 6 feet tall. Once again, these women have alienated the vast majority of men and these first factors are based solely on physical characteristics. Next they stated that they wanted someone well educated. In my humble opinion, a well educated person is someone with at least a four year degree. 28% of Americans have at least a bachelor’s degree. That leaves 72% of the population without a degree. As far as the “good lover” that they seek, unless a man has been in one relationship for a long time a man becomes a good lover by having many lovers which in essence makes him bad for relationships. This comment isn’t worth discussing further. So let’s summarize this. Women want no overweight or guys of average height and no guys that haven’t received a BS in something.
Now let’s look at this from the man’s perspective. I am 5 feet 11 inches tall and a former football player. I hold degrees in finance, psychology, philosophy and a master’s degree in psychology and working on a doctoral degree. I currently have a job that pays in the upper fiftieth percentile of American salaries. I have dated women who found me attractive because of my career, my possessions, etc., but I have never dated a woman because she thought I was a good person or I listened to them or supported them. This in my opinion made the relationships shallow and materialistic, so why would I look to have a relationship with a woman knowing that it is one of the external factors about me that started the relationship. I have maintained friendships with many women that look for the same things that the women on the radio show listed and I have seen these women go from one heartbreaking relationship to the next. I have seen women change where they look for a man. I’ve seen them change how they speak to a man. I have even seen them change the races of the men that they date or state that they won’t date guys with certain astrological signs. They have no clue to look at the list of characteristics that they look for in a man as it is ultimately that list that has left them lonely. Now this leaves me with this question as a man, is that there are no good men or is it because women have chosen to look for this list of traits that it means “there are no good women!”
Years ago, I had the pleasure of meeting a couple that were celebrating their 25th anniversary. We were on a plane and I sat next to them and had a conversation about how they seemed so happy. The wife told me that she met her husband 32 years ago. I asked if they dated for 7 years and the husband answered, we didn’t go out until 18 months before they were married. She told me that she was always dating and was no angel. She said that after every failed relationship, he was their for her. She went on to tell me that he was just a good friend and always supported her. He added that she barely knew he was there for the first 5 years after they met and she said that was the only regret of her relationship. She said that he wasn’t the Tom Selleck (please she was looking for. She said he turned out to be so much more and that she thanked god everyday for not letting him slip away during that time. I think today’s women could take a lesson or two from this not so old couple.