Some rules and laws in this world are just not flexible. The Law of Gravity is pretty much hard core. No deviating on this one. I’m ok with the Law of Gravity really. The refrigerator works well in an environment where gravity is king. The way my kids leave the door open, I would have fruits, vegetables, and kool-aid droplets floating all around the house. In a way, that could be convenient until a stalk of broccoli decided to pass by the tv (got it tied down) in the fourth quarter of the Super Bowl as the “best touchdown catch ever” was being made. Then those kids would be cleaning up the air after a stern lecture about closing the frig door.
I’m not so sure about some other rules. Cities and towns have rules and laws that are designed to promote a civil society. Parking rules, speed limits, drivers licenses – these are all good in my mind. Being new to Columbus Ga, and not knowing my way around, I decided to explore every now and then. On one of my adventures, I was downtown in my car, minding my own business-not texting or celling, or eating or clipping my toenails(only interstates are for nail clipping: my rule). I was fine until I made a right hand turn. I passed a car that look at me like I was crazy. Whatever. I wasn’t driving fast or weaving. The next car blew their horn. Please. I was beginning to think people weren’t friendly in this town. Then I saw someone driving in my lane. My goodness, share the road. As I tried to quickly decide whether it was clear to cross the yellow line and avoid this maniac, I noticed there was no yellow line and realized I was the maniac. I was going the wrong way on a one way street. Ha. Not very funny at the time. In my defense, this was a four lane, one way street. I pulled as far to the edge of the road as I could and waited for the oncoming motorist to pass and brag about how long his middle finger was by showing it to me. Thankfully, he didn’t show me. Maybe people in this town are friendly. When the coast was clear, I made a U-turn and felt like I was part of the normal people again. I wonder if a U-turn on a one way street is illegal?
Since that first incident, I have had several close calls. Many times I can see the building I want to access, because it is so close and yet, the one way streets require that I take a scenic route around the town before I can reach my destination. Rules are rules. I am just glad there are there coffee shops in town. One on each end and one in the middle. They are all fantastic so I can take a break easily during my “directionally challenged” forays into town.
On one such effort, I decided to call ahead. It seems Columbus, Georgia renews car tags in the month of your birthday. Great idea. Easy to remember. Unless the city you had lived in for 10 years always renewed by first letter of last name. My renewal was September. My birthday is in June. If I ever move back to my old town, I will just get a new last name. That will be easier. As you might imagine, I missed my renewal date. I called downtown to check the hours of the tag office and the amount of the fine. The lady asked if I was new to Columbus. I told her I was. She said, “Let me warn you then. We are on a one way street. A short time ago, another new resident had the same expired tag problem. He was coming to pay his fine and got a ticket for going the wrong way on this one way street.” I said thank you very much. The people in this town are friendly – as long as you follow the rules.
Dating is like that. There are rules, but you don’t know what they are. There are licenses, speed limits, and one way streets. You stumble into town happy, go-lucky and carefree. Then the fines start to mount. You don’t how much they are or where to pay them. Before you know it you’ve lost your dating license and you have to leave “dating town” for a while. Next time, I plan to date a sweet lady who is an airline pilot. When she says, “It’s my way or the highway”, I”ll understand.
Greatercolumbusga.com-It’s all you need to know