In this edition of the AC Devil, I try to save the non-hardcore MMA crowd some cash
The fact that people are actually spending their money to watch James Toney face Randy Couture in an MMA fight is proof that Dana White is the greatest promoter since Vince McMahon circa 1998.
The main event of this weekend’s UFC 118 event is listed as Frankie Edgar versus B.J. Penn for the lightweight championship. The fight that has the sports world talking, however, is James Toney, current IBA Heavyweight boxing champion, versus UFC legend Randy Couture in a “boxer versus mixed martial artist” showdown of overblown proportions. No fight fan with any kind of budget whatsoever would pay to see James Toney box against some guy, and the 47 year old Couture is past his prime. Put the two against each other, though, and its apparently one of the most important MMA events of the year.
The only reason I can think of why anybody would actually pay to see this fight is that they just want to watch James Toney go “lights out” after Couture chokes him out 30 seconds into the fight. Toney is a living, walking cartoon character, a mix between James “The Grim Reaper” Roper and Ric Flair (crazy, out-of-his-mind, “what the hell is he talking about?” Ric Flar). I’ve got five bucks that says you didn’t even know Toney was a champion. Another five says you didn’t even know professional boxing was still around.
There are only three ways a Couture vs. Toney fight ends. All are worthy of a chuckle. None are worth a dime of your money.
Scenario 1: Couture decides life is too short, takes Toney down immediately and taps/puts him out in less time than it took for me to write this sentence. For good measure, he farts in Toney’s face post-fight.
Scenario 2: Couture comes in 40 pounds overweight (hey, my second The Great White Hype reference in one piece. Wonder if I have another one in me.) and gets caught by a roided-up Toney. Boxing geeks from around the world rejoice in the fact “their guy” beat the UFC guy and proved boxing, not MMA, is the true sport of men.
Scenario 3: Couture screws around with Toney, taking him to the ground and using the boxer’s head as a bongo for one round. Bored of this, Dana White goes cage-side and gives the “thumbs down” signal a la a Roman Emperor. Couture then immediately finishes Toney off, and the main event starts (totally ripped this off from Wrestling Observer Live co-host Mike Sempervive. And I ain’t sorry.).
Saturday night proves absolutely nothing in the nonsensical “boxing versus MMA” debate. When Couture chokes Toney out, it will only mean that Randy Couture is a better mixed martial artist than James Toney.
You don’t say.
If Toney catches Couture and knocks him batty, it means a 42 year old punched a 47 year old, one who likely wasn’t taking things seriously (not likely when dealing with Couture), in the face and knocked the guy batty. That’s it.
One of my buddies, a much bigger UFC/MMA fan than I, remarked that UFC was too good for a Toney-Couture match-up being put on a PPV. A free TV show, maybe, but not something people actually pay to watch. I agree that the carny-esque match-up of Couture vs. Toney just screams “Strikeforce.” Making money is something UFC does very, very well, and for reasons unbeknownst to me, Couture vs. Toney in August 2010 is a money-maker. UFC isn’t to blame for that.
You are; for buying the show in order to watch Couture humble Toney. If you’re ordering or have ordered UFC 118 to see Edgar/Penn II, God bless. You’ll most likely be a happy fight fan. Thinking about ordering the show to see Toney vs. Couture? Just mail me your money instead. Sure, you’re still throwing your money away, but at least you won’t waste a Saturday night.
Well, about five seconds of it.
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