So ever fill out any application for just about anything and wonder how inane the questions they ask are. Well allow me to elaborate on this!
Race [please check one]:
Caucasian___ African-American____ Asian____ Hispanic____Native American ____ Hawaiian__ Multi-Colored___ Polka dotted____Striped____ Vulcan ___ Romulan ___ Farengi____ Trekkie_____ Dinosaur ____Canine ____Lupine____ Volpine___ Feline____ Ursine___ Other animal [please specify] _________ Amazon ______ Titan ______ Gorgon _______ Walkyrie ____ Other Mythological Group [please specify]________ Mercurian _____ Venutian ____Martian ___Jupiterite______ Saturnine______ Uranian ____ Neptunian _____Plutonian ____ Other Solar System [Please Specify]_________ Rook ____ Pawn ___ King___ Queen____Bishop___Knight_____ Ewok ____ Wookie ____ Android _____Robot_____ Politician ______ Other [please specify]_____
What happens if I am part Canine and part Jupiterite? What do I check off? What happens if I am a Multi-Colored Reptilian Robot Walkyrie?
An online friend told me that under “job” a friend of his wrote”jackass-of-all-trades.”
Occupation [please check one]:
Doctor ___ Lawyer ___ Teacher _____ Farmer ______ Professional Toilet Cleaner _____ Television Watcher _____ Toe Nail Picker____ Wedgie picker/packer_____ Other [please specify]__________
Under “name,” another friend of his wrote “Ben Dover.” Let’s take a look at what other names people sometimes use:
Mr. U. C. Elay
Mr. Hugh Shmuck
Mrs. Ana Heim
Mr. G. U. Stink
Mr. A. Snot
Mrs. F. Yew
Mr. M. Nott
Mr. P.P. Du
I still don’t get why if you are married you need to put your maiden name down or your mother’s maiden name. Perhaps the company or whomever is going to trace your family tree or something.
How did you find us? [Please chekc all that apply] ___Friend or family member ___found us online ____saw our ad in newspaper/magazine ___an alien told you__found us in a fortune cookie __not really sure how found us, but the point is you found us and now want to work for us.
Why are you applying to work here? It’s sad that you can’t reply “Because dang it, I need to make money somewhere, somehow.”