Listen, I don’t know about you. But, when I heard that John Mayer had twittered his last tweet, the first thing that shot through my little brain was: “Aha! John Mayer is getting back with Jennifer Aniston!!”
If you haven’t followed the John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston saga (and how could you not, frankly?), then you might not know that one of the reasons Jennifer dumped John on their last go ’round was because John Mayer had a serious Twitter habit that was more than slightly annoying to Jennifer.
Poor John just couldn’t control himself when it came to Twitter and he tweeted his Twitter fans pretty much day and night.
Yeah. In fact, he was so addicted to his Twitter that he would tell Jennifer (allegedly) that he couldn’t see her because he was busy with other stuff, when really, he was just Tweeting.
I don’t know. I think it’s kind of cute that John Mayer didn’t realize that when you Twitter, um, everybody can see it. But, anyway.
Personally, I always got the impression that Jennifer really liked John. And if you believe half of what John Mayer blithered in the now infamous Playboy interview, he liked her a lot too. He didn’t compare her to napalm, mind you, but he definitely likes her.
I think it’s time for Romcom-Jen to settle down anyway. If you haven’t figured out by the time you’re forty years old that there is no such thing as the “perfect guy” or “the knight in shining armor” you’ve got issues.
Besides, John Mayer is one of those guys who doesn’t know how to be the perfect anything – except killer guitar player- and that fact alone makes him pretty darn charming. I mean, look, he talks way too much and says all the wrong things at the wrong time and he is a master at drawing all kinds of negative press his way. I kind of feel sorry for the guy to tell you the truth.
Jennifer? I don’t feel sorry for her so much, as I think she needs to move on from pretty boy Brad Pitt. Besides, if you want to compare raw talent, Brad Pitt can’t hold a candle to John Mayer. Seriously. Brad’s biggest claim to fame is his hook-up with Angelina and the six precious little kids they have. The guy’s not that great of an actor, okay?
So, listen, Jen, take a chance. Go for it. Nicole got over Tom and landed that yummy Keith Urban. They’ve had their issues, but look at them now: happy, healthy and a beautiful daughter. It would be perfect. Another Hollywood actress gets over marginally talented, Hollywood actor husband and hooks up with uber-sexy, hugely talented, guitar player. And have you heard Keith Urban and John Mayer play together? Holy cow, pure, musical poetry.
Please invite me to the family barbeques.
“Yet Another Jennifer Aniston-John Mayer Sighting?” September 14, 2010. Popeater.com. September 15, 2010. http://www.popeater.com/2010/09/12/another-john-mayer-jennifer-aniston-sighting/
“John Mayer’s Play Interview: Unplugged and Uncensored” February 15, 2010. Associated Content. September 15, 2010. http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2703557/john_mayers_playboy_interview_unplugged.html?cat=9
“Jessica Simpson is Like Sexual Napalm in Bed” February 11, 2010. UK Daily Mail. September 15, 2010. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1250053/Jessica-Simpson-like-sexual-napalm-bed-reveals-John-Mayer.html