Going to the Dollar Store is admitting defeat. But that is okay with me.
I used to have nice reading glasses. The key word is “used to”. The only problem is I kept “misplacing” the glasses. That is a nice way of saying as my mind ages, it is like a bad transmission, it is slipping a few gears, my mind is like a church, it sits empty six days a week, my mind is like a bad back, you don’t want to strain it too much, my mind is like a broken calculator, just can’t count on it anymore.
How bad is my mind as it gets older? It is like a bad radio , it still gets reception, but there is a lot of static. It is like Randy Moss, it keeps dropping things. It is like a bad apartment, my mind has a high vacancy rate.
Okay, I bet we are all glad that I got that out of my system.
But the point is that I gave up. I admitted defeat, went to the Dollar Store and bought my reading glasses there. Sure the glasses may be purple with sequins, but I live alone, so who will notice?
I used to collect pens. Had a few nice fountain pens. Where are they now? I “misplaced” them. Yep. I gave up, went to the dollar store where you can buy a thousand pens for a dollar, or something like that.
How about sunglasses? Yep used to have some nice ones. Ray Bans. Even owned a few pair of Congressional Sunglasses. They were polarized . Oh come on – you have to admit that was semi-funny.
But – did I mention I have given up? I can buy some snappy sunglasses at the Dollar Store and happily lose them all day long. Heck, they are only a dollar.
To be fair, the sunglasses at the Dollar Store are a great deal. I have a friend who sells sunglasses to sporting goods stores, where they go for 20 to 30 bucks. But she admits, when the sporting goods stores can’t sell them, they ship them back to her and she just sends them to the Dollar Store.
Of course, I pointed out to her, that if she were REALLY a good friend, she could send me a few sunglasses for FREE. Surprise, that didn’t happen, so I still have to trudge, a word filled with guilt, trudge. But I still have to trudge down to the Dollar Store to buy sunglasses, because my friend can’t send me a FREE PAIR or TWO. Hmm, I wonder why she never returns my calls?
So I may have given up, but let’s admit it, there’s a certain satisfaction in seeing someone wearing $30 sunglasses you got for a dollar. That is if you can remember where you “misplaced” them.