This past week, the producers at “Sesame Street” decided to cut out Katy Perry’s scene with Elmo where she sang a version of her song “Hot N Cold” that was easily more family friendly than the original. It appears that a number of parents spent more time looking at Katy’s cleavage than they did looking at her playing sweet with Elmo. As a result, they thought their kids would be staring at them for far too long as well, and they demanded that Katy be censored for the show.
Now I did take the time to watch her clip with Elmo on YouTube where it has found an even wider audience than it would have found on PBS. By taking the segment out, it got more attention than it would have received had it stayed in. Parents may think they are protecting their kids, but I honestly think they are overreacting to this. Their demands to have Ms. Perry censored on “Sesame Street” has only added gasoline to the fire. What she wore in her scene with Elmo was nowhere as risqué as some of the stuff she wore for her Rolling Stone photo shoot. Now that was very hot, and I enjoyed it in ways I’d rather not get to in depth about. It was a sweet moment and a tolerable one for those who can stand Katy Perry’s music.
When I was four or five years old watching this show, reveling in the antics of Kermit the Frog along with Ernie and Bert among others, I was never seriously focused on a woman’s breasts. I mean, if you ever saw a female celebrity making out with Kermit or perhaps Big Bird, at that age you would just be saying:
It would take a lot to corrupt our fragile little minds with stuff like that. Back in our preschool days, kissing was just gross! We were not in a hurry to discover the opposite sex., and we stayed away from them and hung out with our own gender. No woman with breasts the size of basketballs was going to fill us with thoughts of sex back then. We all had to wait for puberty for that to take effect, and by then, we weren’t even watching “Sesame Street!”
I mean seriously, this could have been a lot worse; Katy could have been wearing more than a bra and panties while chasing after Elmo. She could have taught that creature who likes to be tickled endlessly the joys of masturbation, but no one involved with one of Jim Henson’s many creations would have dared to film even that. Last I checked, they went to Katy instead of her fiancé Russell Brand of “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” and “Get Him To The Greek” fame. How horrifying would it have been to watch Russell teaching Elmo or perhaps Grover or Cookie Monster how to shoot heroin into their veins. Granted, they’re hand puppets, but even they could get some rubber tubing to wrap around their furry little arms!
What did parents think Elmo would really do with Katy Perry? Did they think she would teach Elmo the joys of breast feeding?! Can you imagine that high pitched voiced character singing a slightly altered version of that song we all heard from Kelis?
“Oh Elmo loves Katy’s milkshake!
Damn right, it’s better than Ernie’s!
Damn right, it’s better than Bert’s!
Damn right, it’s better than Big Bird’s!
I could teach you, but…”
Even if Elmo loves his milkshake as much as he loves being tickled, I somehow doubt he will be sharing this with your children. Was anyone ever making complaints when Dolly Parton appeared on the show?
So far, Katy Perry has seemed to have taken this all in stride as she has tweeted on Twitter how she can “totally tell you how to get to Sesame Street,” and she knows that we cannot deny that she and Elmo hung out. Of course, she made light of the moment on the season premiere of “Saturday Night Live” when she appeared on the Bronx Beat sketch with Amy Poehler and Maya Rudolph wearing a very tight shirt with Elmo’s face on it and making her breast all the more noticeable. Somewhere, Mr. Roger’s is indulging in a good dose of black humor he could never practice on PBS by asking his audience of children:
“Can you say double-D? I knew you could!”
Look folks, Katy Perry has a pair of breasts just like all other women. Stop trying to hide it because your kids have gotten to experience what they offer not too long after they appeared right out of the womb. Whether or not they remember if they were breast fed or not is a whole other story. There are so many other things you could worry about instead of this. What about Newt Gingrich coming on to tell Sam the American Eagle of how important the Bush Tax Cuts are, especially for the wealthy? Do you think you would ever see Marilyn Manson come on singing his version of “Rubber Ducky” or “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” to Oscar the Grouch? How about Nine Inch Nails coming on singing a version of “Closer” with Big Bird? Kids are too busy learning the alphabet than they are taking in what Perry wore, so stop worrying, okay?! Elmo wants her back on the show, and are you going to deny him the chance to be happy with Ms. Perry the way you would a tickle?