After they both called in sick at one o’clock in the morning, Kevin and Melvin headed for the snake river. With high hopes of catching the big one, they set their chairs and tackle at the riverbank at two o’clock. After a while Melvin fell asleep in his chair. Kevin became frustrated.
Kevin sat there in the peace of the night and came up with a clever idea to relieve his frustration. He hooked Melvin’s big shoes onto his line and threw them out into the swift-moving river. Immediately, Melvin woke up and felt the force tugging on his line and began to reel it in. Kevin said it looked like he had a big one. “For sure, for sure,” yelled Melvin. It was quite dark there even with some moonlight, and Melvin patiently reeled the big catch in.
The river currents caused the big catch to sway back and forth violently as it neared the shore. “Get the net, get the net,” shouted Melvin. “It’s a big one,” he continued. Kevin got the net close to the big catch while smiling to himself. Melvin finally realized it’s no fish at all but only his big old shoes. “What’d you go and do that for?” he said sadly. Kevin responded, “if you wanted to sleep, why did you go fishing in the first place?” Melvin just complained and said, “dag-nab-it.”
A week later, Melvin was caught DUI and his driver’s license was revoked. This was the second time for Melvin. Next day, he was pulled over by Keith, one of the town cops. Keith stated, “why are you driving with a revoked license?” Melvin thought for a second and advised Keith that he needed to get to work; had three mouths to feed. Keith informed Melvin that he had to issue him a ticket. “Okay, okay, make it snappy,” responded Melvin.
The very next day Melvin was pulled over by a county cop named Anthony. The county required Anthony to put a club on the steering column after the vehicle was towed to Melvin’s house. During the six months when the vehicle was grounded, Melvin switched out the steering column with another column from the junk yard and continued to drive to work. “Gotta feed those kids.” When the time came for the county to remove the club, Melvin switched out the steering columns once again.
Melvin soon retired from his job and became quite a fisherman. He never, ever, saw another pair of shoes in the snake river. Since Melvin had trouble with his vision, he just couldn’t read the sign at High Falls river that read “no fishing.” Melvin was taken to jail by the Park rangers; fishing license revoked. Kevin had the privilege of caring for Melvin’s children, once again.