There is need to clarify what love and sex means or stands for in marriage. Many people attach the same meaning to the two, which is an error. The keywords in the title are love, sex and marriage. It is imperative to explain what each word stands for.
Marriage is an agreement between a man and a woman to live as husband and wife. It is an institution created by God primarily for the purpose of companionship.The other reasons for marriage such as sex for reproduction are secondary factors.
Marriage is a bond and an everlasting covenant that is meant to exist for as long as the couples live. It was created to terminate only by death of any of the partners. Break up in marriages is an aberration before God.
Love is the foundation of every marriage. Love is not in words but in action. Love is better demonstrated than by words. Love is not a feeling, because there is much more to love than jumping into bed with the opposite sex.
Love is sacrifice and service by one to the other. To love is to give what is the best for the benefit of the other, and to accept him as he is and not on the basis of what is to be gained from him.
To love is to make a self-sacrificing concern for the benefit and welfare of another and to love the other without condition in spite of the other’s actions or inactions. Love is a strong emotional attachment to another person. It is a deep affection for another person, to be fond of the person and wanting to be with him/her all the time. Love is a heart-to-heart connection between husband and wife. To love is to accept the imperfections of the other and to accommodate them. To love your partner is a choice and a decision.
Love is fuelled by personal intimacy which must be developed by the couple for their love to grow. Without personal intimacy, love wanes or fades and gradually dies. This is how many marriages have failed because the partners took their affection for granted and did not put in the time and effots required to make it grow.
Many people are in marriage but very few are in love.
Sex is sexual intercourse or a sexual union between husband and wife. It was created by God to be expressed within marriage as an instrument for husband and wife to express their love for each other. However, sex is not love because it is possible to have sex with a person you have no feelings or love for. Further, there are other ways to express love for each other apart from sex. Sex is not the exclusive means to show love to another.
Sex alone, without strong personal intimacy, can not sustain a marriage. Sex without personal intimacy is driven by passion and passion is a weak and unstable foundation to build a marriage on. Moreover, passion can easily take the place of real friendship. This is the point at which many couples are in error.
Many marriages are mere sexual relationships because the partners rushed into for romantic connection without developing the intimacy connection. Intimacy is friendship which takes time to develop, to nurture and mature. In a marriage built on sex driven by passion, there is no real love for each other and each member exists to derive mere physical and sexual pleasure from the other which quickly becomes boring.
The combination of personal intimacy and sexual intimacy makes for full expression of love in marriage. This is the situation that a couple is actually in love and this is the marriage that lasts. There fore it is necessary for every couple to develop the friendship connection first and become intimate between themselves before rushing into sex.