I came out of the gate strong with great NFL predictions the first two weeks. In week 3 my predictions were so bad that I was too upset to make predictions in week 4 (actually I forgot but that excuse does not sound as good). In week 3 I made the mistake on relying on my college football knowledge. I should have known that I couldn’t trust picks on college players. If there was any correlation between college and the pros then Troy Smith would be a star, Matt Leinart would be a Pro Bowl quarterback and Tim Tebow would have a bazillion touchdowns by now.
So forget about college players. This week I’m going to be a lot smarter with my NFL picks. I’m going to make my NFL predictions based on the most scientific reasoning I can think of. Which team has the cooler helmets.
Jacksonville Jaguars vs. Buffalo Bills
The only thing the Buffalo Bills do correctly is make a nice helmet.
Winner: Buffalo Bills
Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. Cincinnati Bengals
Cincinnati’s Bengal print is not that bad but the Buccaneers helmets are pirate themed so there isn’t much that can stop them unless there is a ninja expansion team I am unaware of.
Winner: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Atlanta Falcons vs. Cleveland Browns
The Browns have orange helmets and they might be the most hideously bland piece of equipment worn by any sports team. Falcons are black and have a cool logo too.
Winner: Atlanta Falcons
St. Louis Rams vs. Detroit Lions
The Rams helmet is not that bad, I just like lions better. You can blame Disney. Go Simba!
Winner: Detroit Lions
Kansas City Chiefs vs. Indianapolis Colts
I love the Chiefs’ arrowhead and the red color. The Indianapolis Colts helmet is much like Peyton Manning. It’s good, but kind of boring at times.
Winner: Kansas City Chiefs
Green Bay Packers vs. Washington Redskins
I don’t care if the Packers are one of the biggest franchises in the NFL. You can’t get away with just slapping a big “G” on the side of your helmet. Lame.
Winner: Washington Redskins
Chicago Bears vs. Carolina Panthers
Okay, so the Bears also just have a big “C” (no not THE Big C, just a big C) on the side of their helmet. Fortunately for them the Panthers helmet is too new and has too much light blue to compete with the classic dark blue Chicago helmets.
Winner: Chicago Bears
Denver Broncos vs. Baltimore Ravens
The Broncos and Ravens helmets are really the first match up between two helmets I don’t like. I guess I’ll go with Ravens because Ravens are kind of cool, mainly because Edgar Alan Poe was a freak.
Winner: Baltimore Ravens
New York Giants vs. Houston Texans
There are few teams that can get away with just letters as a logo and one of them is “NY”. It’s not the Giants though, it’s the Yankees.
Winner: Houston Texans
New Orleans Saints vs. Arizona Cardinals
I thought the Saints helmet looked cooler even though I didn’t even know what the logo is. The internetz tell me that it is a French symbol called a Fleur-De-Lis that represents New Orleans’ French heritage. Learnin’ is good.
Winner: New Orleans Saints
Tennessee Titans vs. Dallas Cowboys
The Dallas Cowboys star is classic. It’s like a bullseye for the rest of the league to aim for.
Winner: Dallas Cowboys
San Diego Chargers vs. Oakland Raiders
I love me some lightning bolts but Oakland Raiders = best NFL helmet.
Winner: Oakland Raiders
Philadelphia Eagles vs. San Francisco 49ers
I used to love the Eagles before they stabbed Donovan McNabb in the back. The helmets are still cool though and I hate the colors of the 49ers.
Winner: Philadelphia Eagles
Minnesota Vikings vs. New York Jets
Neither helmet is particularly good but I guess I’ll go with the Vikings just because they attempted a logo and not just a word. What were the Jets thinking? Do you know how cool a Jet logo would be?
Winner: New York Jets