Last night, the powers that be on DWTS, decided to do something different that they’ve never done before. They had “instant dance” night! The couples knew the type of dance they’d be doing, but not the music. They only had about twenty minutes to get their act together. Such pressure! I think the producers thought it would trip up our last five couples, but oh no it didn’t. They all did fabulous. So let’s get started talking about it all.
Kyle Massey and Lacey Schwimmer
As soon as they came onstage, the Fashion Police sounded the alarm. Lacey, girl, what were you wearing? It was some god-awful two-tone green ensemble with a black vine climbing down it, probably trying to get away. And while we’re being picky, Lacey, honey, please go back to your dark hair. You’re a very pretty girl, but blonde isn’t your color. Okay, now to get back to the subject at hand, which is actual dancing. Kyle and Lacey did the Viennese Waltz and Kyle managed to look graceful and elegant and be a viable ballroom dance partner. I would vote for him to be the most improved this season.
At the end of their dance, the couples had to pick a song out of a “hat” for their instant dance. Kyle and Lacey got “Good Golly Miss Molly” and we all knew they were going to be dancing the Jive. During practice, Kyle’s buddy, Jack-o, came by to “help”. The idea was that Kyle had to dance and not let anything else distract him. Jack-o tried his best during rehearsals to do just that, even including joining Kyle and Lacey, stark naked. Even pro Lacey couldn’t keep her focus during THAT one. However, their jive got two tens from the judges.
Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough
I love Jennifer, but I’m starting to cringe in empathetic pain for her every week. This week was no different. We saw Jennifer practicing the Quick Step this week and rip a knee tendon. Yeah, it looked like it hurt. After a dire warning from her doctor, and some cavalier advice from her Dad, who is Joel Gray, about “the show must go on”, Jennifer danced through the pain and did great. She’s probably destroying her body from being on this show, but hey, that mirror ball trophy is just within reach now and we must have it, right Jennifer?
So out of a hat, they picked “Waiting For A Girl Like You” by Foreigner and would be dancing the Rumba. You could have blown me over with a feather when both Jennifer and Derek said they didn’t know the song. WTF?! Have they been living under a rock all this time? We saw Jennifer and Derek getting very up close and personal during their rehearsal for the instant dance. Jennifer had a grin on her face and stated that this was very seventh grade. Then after Derek moved his hips against her, she smiled even broader and said “Well maybe eighth grade”. Jennifer, that was hysterical. You looked adorable saying that.
Anna Trebunskaya and Kurt Warner
So on comes Kurt with a wary eye to his wife sitting in the audience and Anna with her huge gummy smile, dancing the Waltz. Carrie Ann mentioned that Kurt looks like a living Ken doll, and I think she’s right. He’s tall and sort of good looking. Well, sort of.
The song they got for their instant dance was “Hella Good” by No Doubt. And surprise surprise, neither of them knew the song. I can’t really blame them for this one though. It’s a great song, but it is a little off the beaten track. They will be doing the Cha Cha. So apparently to help with this, Kurt had his kids be “practice judges”. Cute kids. I think Kurt may be in the dog house this week though. During the judges’ voting, Carrie Ann mentioned that she noticed some sex appeal between these two this week. Anna beamed, and Kurt looked absolutely panic stricken as his eyes went directly to his wife sitting in the audience, pleading with her not to believe Carrie Ann. Very funny. Poor Kurt. Me thinks he’ll spend a night or two on the couch this week.
Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas
I know I keep picking on Bristol every week, but seriously, she shouldn’t be here in this dancing competition this late in the game. She’s just an average girl who can’t really dance. Yes, she’s trying, and I give Mark a high five for being a good sport dancing with her, but I wish the crazy Republicans out there would stop voting for her so she can finally go home and let the good dancers vie for the top spot. They did the Argentine Tango tonight for their individual dance. Yes, it was again embarrassing to watch, except for when Mark twirled her over his shoulder at the end. I was impressed. If I was Bristol, I would have been scared to death of falling head first on to the dance floor.
Their instance dance song was “Mas Que Nada”. Even I was scratching my head wondering what it sounded like. I had no clue and neither did Bristol or Mark. They did the Samba to it though. You can tell they messed up a bit, and Mark took the hit for it, saying it was him who made the misstep. Such a gentleman.
Maksim Chmerkovsky and Brandy
Did you see Maks come out dressed all in white? My jaw dropped when I saw that vision on stage. Oh yeah, Brandy eventually wore all white too. They did the most beautiful waltz I think I’ve ever seen. It was a three-time rewind worthy performance. Maks even managed to kiss Brandy on the cheek so sensually, that I swear I thought I saw fireworks go off on stage. Actually it was just my imagination, but it was real to me all the same. Brandy must be having the time of her life, because it was evident that she was so overcome with emotion, that even after the dance ended, she had a hard time coming back down to earth. Maks, on the other hand, came out of character in an instant. Typical guy, eh?
The instant dance song they picked out of a hat was “Teenage Dream” by Katy Perry. Brandy, being young and hip, knew the song, but Maks hadn’t heard it before. The dance was going to be the Cha Cha and we saw Maks and Brandy comparing bottoms during rehearsal, each one thinking their’s was the best. As usual, they did great. I’m still rooting for Maks and Brandy to win this whole competition.
Two noteworthy moments to mention from this show last night. I couldn’t believe my ears when Brooke Burke said to Maks and Brandy something like “don’t worry, if it helps, I never listen to the music any way”. Way to go, Brooke. You managed to insult the entire orchestra and band who perform there live every week, as well as any guest singers. I think that one slipped out of your lips, but should never have gotten out.
The second noteworthy moment was when Maks showed some sour grapes about the judges. I wish he hadn’t done that. I’m sure he believed wholeheartedly in what he was saying, but in a competition like this, I don’t think it’s a good idea to talk against the judges. He said he felt the pros were overlooked and whined about how they’ve been busting their butts for ten seasons. I think Maks is feeling underappreciated these days. He has no idea just how much I appreciate him, which if he only knew, would make up for all the times he’s been misunderstood by the judges. Poor Maks. I’m worried that his comments will come back to bite him in the end. Till next time…