Lindsay Lohan has been freed from jail. I’m going to add more information about the amazing popular culture superstar, Lindsay Lohan, because the world needs my opinion.
Lindsay Lohan is a creature so common, so ‘not’ unusual, and so completely in abundance in the United States of America, that she is, somehow, special.
Lindsay Lohan earns mountains of dollars simply by eating, stealing nutrients from the food, and shitting the excess.
Lindsay Lohan is not too rare to die, nor is she too interesting to continue living. But Lindsay Lohan is the spirit of America, and her heart beats with red, white, and blue. She is the patriotic wind, and she blows in the very quintessence of American freedom. She is the flapping, flamboyant American flag.
And Betsy Ross sighs long, and hard.
There is no Lindsay Lohan in the any zoo in America, because nobody wants to pay money to look in the mirror. They want something exotic, something they don’t see every day.
You may find a ‘Lohan’ in a brothel, but that’s a different kind of zoo.
The greatest aspect of Lohan is that she clearly is not a terrorist. It wouldn’t feel right to have her in jail. America has the ethical awareness to avoid throwing in jail those who are not fully mentally developed. The judge threatens, yes, but in the end, he says, Get thee to a nunnery!
The only beauty in Lindsay Lohan is the very same aesthetic in most television / McDonald’s / high fructose corn syrup -saturated Americans-an empty, yawning void that cannot be filled, nor can it consume enough, even if it devours drugs, sex, fame, food, hate, and fear every minute of every day.
In this way, Lindsay Lohan’s red, white, and blue blood serves as an image of infinity, and it is at once striking, spectacular. Repulsive and hauntingly surreal.
Her American black hole will not eat you; it will allow you to have never at all existed.