Can Men and Women ever truly be just friends?
An interesting thought if giving it the time to really look.
Sex and Society
Men – looking at it from the animal instinct side of things, men are put on this earth to reproduce. Women are here for the same. Can the two be ‘just friends’ with out the reproductive or sexual instinct kicking in?
Is the sex part inevitably going to get in the way? Men tend to be a lot more sexual by nature and women like the closeness of a relationship. If there is absolutely no physical attraction on both parts, can it work? Well, taking a look at ‘When Harry met Sally’ it seems that Men basically want to have sex with any Women that’s close to them. Women develop feelings that may be way off track. Something that would ease the sexual tension would be for one or both friends to start dating someone else and that tension should come down to a simmer.
Can male and female friends define their relationship without stigma or does society play a large part? The constant ‘they are always together’ and ‘why are not seeing each other?’ will play a large part in this friendship. Even though society puts restrictions on friendships like this, it doesn’t mean that the friendship is doomed from the start. Times have changed since a woman’s role was to be the home maker and the man’s to bring home the bacon, but have times changed so much so to really allow Men and Women to have a friendship of the non sexual kind?
If one or both ‘Friends’ are in a relationship then generally the non spoken rule of ‘off limits’ kicks into action. But what if off limits is not in this equation? Attraction is an odd thing and will bring together the two most opposites of people – whether it be in Friendships or Relationships, the trick is how to handle it.
If your friend was married, how would the spouse feel about the ‘friend’ being in their other halves lives? Jealousy can and will take over. The spouse will start to wonder why that friend is needed in their partner’s life and normal thought process will show the green eyed monster in that lurks somewhere deep inside us all.
Just good Friends?
What if the two friends have no significant other? After asking yourself why you are just friends, should a clear indication become apparent?
A Man is generally attracted to any woman that becomes part of his world, so even if the Woman has no illusions of anything other than friendship, how can you be sure that the Man feels the same, or vice versa? One of the parties involved is at one point or another going to start questioning this friendship – whether it be the Man or the Woman, tension is going to get high and when it inevitably comes out, it does so in a most obvious way – hot passionate sex that was probably waiting to happen since the start of the friendship.
So what to do in a situation like this?
Attitude and how you handle the friendship is the deciding factor. Even if clear boundaries are set and not crossed, it still doesn’t mean the mind isn’t ticking over constantly at the thought of it. But by crossing the boundaries you could stand to ruin a perfectly good friendship. It’s a lot to loose if the other person just does not feel the same.
The Start of things to Come?
Relationships do start of as friendships. One side maybe attracted to the other but never intend to act on it, but sometimes intent is different from reality. A lot of women’s male friends tend to be ex lovers, so they have already gotten the sexual urge out of the way and the friendship can sail along nicely. If the urge has never been dealt with, does it mean that it will show its face?
On a positive, the longer the friendship continues will give it more chance to continue being a non sexual and purely platonic relationship. But do those feelings ever truly go away?
Some say a new friendship is started as a trial for a new relationship. But once that ‘stage’ has passed, can you move into the ‘just friends’ box and stay that way?
On one hand some say men and women can be just good friends if they don’t see each other on a regular basis. If it was once every few weeks and not a close friend then off course the two can hold onto that platonic relationship.
But on the other hand, when the two friends start seeing each other on a more regular basis then stigma and society generally get in the way.
Men and women really are as complex as they say. Off course they can enjoy a friendship however; it would possibly not be at the same level of a same sex friendship. But friendship is friendship and a true friend is hard to find.
With that in mind, all obstacles usually can be overcome, and if the friendship means a lot shouldn’t we be able to overcome the stigma surrounding male and female friendships?
Shouldn’t we indeed.
Louise Bell ‘Male and Female Friendships – Do they work?’ Associated Content