It’s mid-November and while typically most average New Yorkers have already, begrudgingly, broken out all the requisite winter wear, it’s not so this year. The late October heat wave is a very welcome sight from this once spoiled Californian and extended itself all the way into the month of November with temps on the 14th of the month (today) scheduled to reach into the low 60’s. I know that the good times can’t last forever but I wish them to.
I have been out in recent days in shorts and of course have gotten the look from many in passing (who is this barbarian?). While I don’t know if this is something along the same line as the requisites for ‘white after Labor Day,’ for all this pent up aggression I receive from complete strangers, it’s got to be something along those lines. In truth this is nothing exclusive to this year; I often will hold onto shorts far longer than is considered proper in my circles.
I don’t know if it’s my country bumpkin upbringing, my Dominican blood, my North Carolinian birth or some other intangible (I was too warm once as a child; I’ve never been the same). This is a fact that is not lost on my friends and family.
Still, I’m a little taken aback by all the stares from women who are clearly operating from a double standard. Guys or Men are supposed to be clean cut, wear a shirt and tie and shave their face daily. I have never been such a slave to such conventional mores but I can appreciate that the boundary exists. Still, you’ve got these women who are just all beside themselves the first chance they get to show off a little leg in a skirt!
You’d figure that someone just discovered plutonium! “It’s going to be warm out today?!” my wife always says. And then she and all her female counterparts around the area will scurry off in search of that little number that your thrifty mother got off the pre-holiday sale rack and gave to your girlfriend for Holiday Celebrations (you know, like Festivus) even though your mother long ago gave up celebrating Christmas.
Still it’s a dress. Or a skirt. And women have a lot more on display than I do in shorts! I mean, I wear big oversized shorts and even with that, I get that look. Constantly. It’s a little disheartening.
It’s no different for these wealthy-but-unhappy, philandering, shot of rum for breakfast types too. They give me the look as well, though guys are a lot sneakier about giving themselves away. But it’s there.
These dudes are just jealous they can’t be unemployed, homeless, and wearing shorts on so nice of a day like today.