We stopped at a local convenience store recently because inevitably if I ride more than 45 minutes, there has to be a restroom break. As I went into the bathroom, I noticed on the back stall door there was a sign which read: “Out of Order. Do not use.” As is prone to happen, I wondered why they needed both statements. I mean, what part of “Out of Order” could we not understand? Do we still have to tell someone not to use it. If a person did use it, is there any point in telling them twice? And why do we say out of order anyway? Why don’t we just say this sucker’s not working?
On a billboard I saw a sign advertising an adult entertainment club named Escape Hatch. Love that title. It advertised itself as a sophisticated men’s club. How can a place that has women parading around in their all-together wrapping themselves suggestively around poles and flopping their goods in someone’s face be considered sophisticated? Maybe you have to have a coat and tie to get in the door. Although I’ve not had experience with men’s clubs, I just imagine how the evening might go. Two men sitting at a small table sipping their brandy while watching Bambi do her thing on stage. “Oh, look, John, that pretty little thing is twisting her booty.” “Oh, isn’t she lovely. I bet she works out religiously. Why look, Harold, what’s that lovely flower on her breast? I believe that’s a hybrid orchid like the one growing in your greenhouse.”
The daughter was visiting the other day and coming out of the bathroom asked me why I had the waste basket in the shower. I had moved it while mopping the floor and forgot to put it back in its place. Instead of just explaining like a normal human, I told her it was my attempt to go green. She looked at me with a puzzled expression, so I replied, “I figure anything that can be melted down by the hot water deserves its freedom.”
And speaking of trash, I think that might be a bright future for some enterprising young person starting their career. It seems to me that I throw out more than I bring into this house. Everything I buy is wrapped, cartoned or packaged. Just like being in the funeral business, anywhere you live there’s always going to be a need.
Living green is an interesting term to me. We recycle paper, plastic, glass and anything else that can be reused, but we take an organic dead body which would convert back to the earth, and encase it in heavy metal and concrete. And then we devote several acres in a prominent location in the city to this. Is it just me or does this reasoning seem a little off kilter?
While in the store recently, I walked over to get some candy corn off the display aisle of Halloween candy. It’s one of my favorite candies, and I only eat it this time of the year. Of course, I’ll probably consume about five pounds by the end of October, and that’s the reason I’m not interested the rest of the year. I saw the aisle but couldn’t get even close because there were several pull-carts loaded with unstocked goods blocking the entire candy display. After all, people, it’s October! If you’re going to sell Halloween candy, you might want to make it accessible. On the other hand, I could have bought Christmas decorations on the other side where there was nothing blocking them. I have to wonder if that store manager went to Dummy University.
Hope everyone has a great week, and thanks for reading.