Ladies and Gentlemen, I would kick an elderly midget to be a mercenary. Not only do you get paid millions of dollars and have cronies at your disposal but you get to wear jackets with the sleeves cut off. Yeah I know, sounds good, right? So, why did the lead mercenary in this film look like the 42-year old bagger in my local grocery store? Perhaps making millions can’t bring a man happiness? Perhaps I’m placing too much importance on loose, naked women, fast cars and sleeveless outfits? NAH!
Radu, a Romanian archaeologist is ambushed by a cutthroat mercenary that goes by the name of Cutter (Greg Evigan). He and his black clad henchmen have decided to steal the priceless breastplate of Attila the Hun. It would appear that there’s a legend surrounding the breastplate and its ability to lead the owner to the Sword of Mars, a magical sword guarded by Cerberus, a three-head dog with a serpent’s tail. Yuck, can you imagine being attached to a three-headed dog’s ass? Anyhow, this legendary sword gives the wielder the ability of invincibility on the field of battle. There’s a kink in their plans though as Radu is killed in the heist. Now the mercs are without an expert to lead them to the sword.
Thousands of miles away in New York, Dr. Samantha Gaines (Emmanuelle Vaugier of Saw 2) is preparing for the grand opening of an exciting museum exhibit featuring the breastplate. Sadly, she’s informed by government agent Jack Addams (Sebastian Spence), that not only has the breastplate been stolen but her mentor and friend, Radu, has been murdered. To make matters worse, Sam’s younger brother Zach (Brent Florence) is back in town and needs a couple grand. Apparently, he’s gambled his way into the wrong crowd and he needs to hide out until he can get the money together. Being the incredibly charitable (and hot) sister she is, she agrees to loan him the funds and allow him to stay with her.
Unfortunately, Cutter and his men have kidnapped Zach at the request of their employer Kul Jae Sung (Garret Sato). Using Zach as leverage they force Samantha to fly out to Romania in order to help lead them to the sword. Before they can successfully transport her to Sung and his men, Agent Jack Addams and his men come to her aid. Jack has been sent to stop Sung from getting the sword. The government feels that a rogue Korean madman with 12 Soviet briefcase nukes may get even bolder with an artifact of religious significance in his possession. Luckily, Jack has snagged some pictures of the breastplate from the Romanian Antiquities Office files and soon Jack, his team and Sam are on their way up a mountain fortress to find the sword.
Cutter, of course, doesn’t plan to lose out on the millions he stands to make from this sword so he begins tracking Sam. The idea is to allow them to find the sword and then Cutter can simply waltz in and collect. Not only does Cutter take the sword but he also discovers that it actually does give him invincibility in battle! Like any good scumbag mercenary, he doubles his fee and makes himself partner in Sung’s operation. Meanwhile, Cerberus the three-headed dog begins hunting down Jack & Sam (the rest of his team die). They’re determined to get the sword back into Attila’s tomb before Cerberus can reach them and the small town on the outskirts of the mountain.
Not only does Cerberus reach the town but Cutter has come to the full realization of the sword’s power and he doesn’t plan to give it up without a fight. This, of course, isn’t an option for Jack because not only do they need the sword to defeat Cerberus but Cutter plans to go through with the bomb scenario without the recently decapitated Kul Jae Sung. Danger! Danger Will Robinson! Bullets don’t stop Cutter; knives don’t stop Cutter, only the quick thinking of Agent Jack Addams can save the day and destroy Cerberus for good!
This is just another paint-by-the-numbers Sci-Fi Channel Original. The CG was passable, at times watchable, but mainly sluggish and unrealistic. This flick had no sex or mature language. It felt like a feature length episode of The Outer Limits. One thing I have to give the Sci-Fi Channel credit for though is that they’re never at a loss for casting a smoking hottie as a female lead. Emmanuelle Vaugier was blazing hot with enough rump to go around. It’s a damn shame, we didn’t even get a little side boob though. As a time waster to keep the kids busy while you scan internet porn, this film was adequate. As a popcorn hurling, Icehouse drinking, sexist horror fan jamboree, it was crap.