He is growing up and he doesn’t need me anymore! Okay so maybe that is a bit of an exaggeration. I mean he is only 6 years old and in 1st grade, but that is exactly how it felt last week when my son started 1st grade.
He is just this independent little guy. I have always called him my little man. The name suits him so well. He always wants to prove that he can do things on his own. But to be honest the saddest part is that the majority of the time when he sets his mind to it he can do it on his own.
Over the summer we moved to a new school district. So here he was with new teachers, new students, new surroundings staring his 1st grade year. Naturally I was far more nervous than he seemed to be. I was worried about how he would adjust, would he make new friends, would his education be ahead or behind from being in another school? Of course over the course of the summer I questioned him about whether he was nervous but excited was the only expression on his face and in his voice.
So along comes the first day of school and my little man in true form tells me he does not want me to walk him to class. Of course I asked numerous times on the way to school if he was sure, but I knew the answer before I asked. I knew that I was the one who wanted to walk him in. And that the only person benefiting from walking him to class was me as a mother. I knew he was perfectly fine without me because as he got out of the car he was so excited to be at school and in his face I saw no fear of the unknown.
As I watched all the other parents parking and walking in their children (even children much older than my son) I was hit by a sudden wave of sadness while I watched him walk away. I knew he was growing up and it was the first time I thought about the fact that he would only need me less and less as time went on. He was no longer my baby. He was growing up. But soon after my moment of sadness left me I felt pride. Pride in the person he was becoming. He walked into the fear of the unknown with his head held high and the attitude to conquer the world. So even though I know he is growing up I also know that he will become an amazing, self confident, independent man.