My toilet must be magic. This morning my cat knocked an entire roll of TP (the good shit, too, the triple ply Charmin we pamper ourselves with- why couldn’t she have been batting around the single ply Western Family sandpaper demon paper we have on backup instead?) right into the toilet bowl, cardboard roll included and all.
I mean, grr, stupid cat! It’s like having a toddler in the house- she craps everywhere, knocks things over, spills things all over the place (like the hole she chewed in my dog food bag so when I picked it up the kibbles spread all over my kitchen floor- damn cat! *Shakes fist in fury*- meanwhile, my cat is bolting into the bathroom cabinet where she can chew on my feminine products with glee).
Anyhow, yes, she knocked an ENTIRE brand-new roll of the GOOD toilet paper right into the potty, where it immediately ballooned to fill the whole bowl and soak up all the water gleefully. Since I had just woken up and was still groggily stumbling about the house scratching my ass (yes, I do that) waiting for the coffee to brew, I just stared at the toilet bowl, made a strangling motion at my cat (who winked at me, how cute) and FLUSHED the toilet without even thinking about it.
Shit, shit, shit! I don’t have a toilet plunger, and have no idea how to plunge a toilet, so I was staring bug-eyed with my face in the bowl watching the toilet bowl gurgle and burp and slowly but surely eat that entire toilet paper roll, cardboard and all. WTF?! My toilet won’t even flush unless you pull the little stringy thingy (yup, honey still hasn’t fixed his honeydo yet), but the sucker will gladly eat an entire roll of triple ply TP? Cool! I love you toilet! Big hug!
Now that I know I have a magic toilet that can eat massive amounts of paper and my cat is happily munching on my big toe, I am seriously wondering if my toilet could eat my cat as well. Hmm… Here, kitty, kitty!