My top three personal fashion New Year’s resolutions have been slowly coalescing from vague “maybes” to more concrete “will do’s,” especially with all the “less is more” changes to my life over the last 18 months. None of the paring down has left me feeling bereft, so I think I’ll continue the process with these three reformations:
Fashion Resolution #1
No matter how hot the fad or how established the custom of the costume, I will not endure discomfort to wear it. Bye-bye pantyhose. Good riddance, low-cut jeans that preclude sitting without revealing buttock cleavage. I will never again wear sequins between my neck and my waist again for them to inflict tiny lacerations with every motion I make. Be gone thou scratchy lace, slowly rubbing my clavicles raw with Elizabethan pomposity. And to Stevie Nicks, I do hereby bequeath all the long, gauzy skirts from India that I was forever getting underfoot and tripping myself so becomingly.
I’m almost positive I will have little difficulty in sticking to this particular resolution as it has increasingly become the way I dress with each year I age. Some old broad might have the face of a 20-year old with the miracle of plastic surgery, but if she’s dressed comfortably, it’s a dead giveaway.
Fashion Resolution #2
I will not purchase a color, a print, a cut, or a pattern under peer-pressure wherein I’ve been convinced for one brief moment by sales clerks or friends alike, looks “good” on me. For these individuals will not be around two Monday mornings later when I wake late with five pounds of premenstrual water-weight to convince me – again – that a puke-green blouse looks “stunning” on me.
I resolve to follow this challenge by simply foregoing any purchase wherein I need to be convinced of my attraction in any given outfit.
Fashion Resolution #3
I will purchase clothing only when the overall cost to me is less than or equal to $1 per year per wearing opportunity – weddings, galas, and balls are exceptions, of course. To illustrate, if I find a used blouse for $3.50 at Goodwill, I must be assured of wearing it at least three to four times per calendar year. If I purchase a pair of UnderArmour workout pants, new for $75, at a retail store I must be convinced that I will wear it at least 75 times in a calendar year – which is pretty much a no-brainer when you and your significant other are both involved in coaching.
This resolution will be a little bit more difficult to follow, although my natural thriftiness may help.
Oh, and shoes don’t count!