“Follow your heart and you can’t go wrong”;
I’ve heard it, time and again.
“Time heals all wounds”, they say;
“In time, your heart will mend.”
“All things happen for a reason”;
“It’s all part of God’s plan”.
“God won’t let you be destroyed,
He will lift you with His Hand.”
Yet love has left me high and dry,
And my heart has yet to heal.
I lost my car, I lost my job,
And wonder about our next meal.
Within my neighborhood.
No money for doctors or medication;
How can this be for the good?
Some tell me I’m being tested,
Yet what was it that I learned?
Only that I shouldn’t be so caring,
For those people left me burned.
Kindness, compassion, love,
Giving till nothing is left.
But all those I took care of
Turned away, when I was bereft.
Some tell me I’m being punished;
That the trouble is just brewing.
I fell in love with a married man
And these plagues are my own doing.
But, even though I wanted to,
I never touched him, at all.
I followed where my heart led me;
And it led me to my fall.
I lost my only transportation,
And the only job I had.
Collections took my income tax,
And made me very mad.
There won’t be money to buy a car,
For another year or two.
At least not without a job.
Then the neighborhood strays
Filled my yard with fleas.
Then came the mites and mange;
That fight brought me to my knees.
We only had food stamp items
To battle the parasites.
Vinegar and baking soda
To help us ease the bites.
Just too many things to mention
Spiraling me toward depression.
Too much to fight, I just gave up,
And gave in to the oppression.
No more can I handle.
No more can I endure.
I’ve lost all hope of recovery;
For me, there is no cure.
Is it a test of faith?
If so, then I have failed.
Perhaps punishment for falling in love?
That sin was never veiled.
I’ve lost my will to fight the good fight;
All I feel is the heartaches.
I wonder if I will recover
From this, my Year of Plagues.