Still Winless: Buffalo (0-7)
Still Employed: Brad Childress, in defiance of all known laws of logic
Still Fatter Than Donovan McNabb: JaMarcus Russell
Well, at least Chilly knows who ate the strawberries (rant follows).
By now, if you are reading this, you are well aware of the fact that Randy Moss has been waived by the Minnesota Vikings. By now, you’ve likely heard a number of reasons for his being waived, none of which are good, and some of which are so nonsensical as to remind one of Dr. Seuss. For example: there is a theory abroad that one of the contributing factors to Moss’ waiver was the fact that he allegedly and indirectly verbally abused catering staff on the Friday before the Vikings were to play the New England Patriots.
Yup, the old “he’s a jerk, he deserved to get cut” defense has just been raised.
Is anyone but me paying attention?
This is the National FOOTBALL League, not the National FRIENDSHIP League. This is a violent game played by violent men of often questionable character. Examples follow:
Ray Lewis obstructed justice in a felony murder case, and is still committing bodily harm for the Baltimore Ravens on a weekly basis.
Michael Vick walked out of prison and into Philadelphia Eagles training camp.
Donte Stallworth killed a man while driving drunk, and will play football this season.
Antonio Cromartie, cornerback and serial philanderer of the New York Jets, is only following an example set by former Denver Broncos (et. al.) running back Travis Henry, that no amount of different kids by different baby mamas can keep a guy out of the lineup if he can help with the most important statistic: wins.
I can go on and on, but here’s the point, Mr. “That Damn Moss Shoulda Been Cut For Saying Evil Things About Catered Food”: worse people than him are still drawing paychecks in the NFL, because, at last check, being nice hasn’t stuffed anyone on fourth-and-goal with the game on the line.
Bottom line, Moss got cut because Brad Childress made the worst kind of power play and lost, not because he said unkind things about the food. Sure, he’s a jerk; at last check, the Chicago Bears are still employing one at quarterback. (rant ends)
Seriously, though, the Chefs are cooking up something serious in Kansas City. The leg breakers in Vegas like to call games against teams like the Buffalo Bills “trap games,” because the assumption is that KC would be looking past the sad sack Bills to the suddenly-more-formidable Oakland Raiders (a divisional foe with a genuine pulse). Whatever the line was, KC had a great chance to lose in overtime to an increasingly game Bills squad and didn’t. Hats off to Todd Haley and his guys for showing some grit.
I’m already out of superlatives for St. Louis Rams rookie QB Sam Bradford. There’s a lot to like here, not the least of which is that the NFL has “re-discovered” a living, breathing football market in the Gateway City. Get your Bradford rookie jersey, get it signed, and sit back and (hopefully) watch a long and prosperous career unfold.
I’ve been saying it for weeks, but man! The Detroit Lions broke out the whuppin’ stick on the Washington Redskins so hard that Shenanigans brought in lethargy-addicted JaMarcus Russell for a look at QB…
Meanwhile, on the “things-are-looking-waaaay-up” front for the Lions, Ndamukong Suh is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Seems to me that I remember the old NFC East sighing with relief when Dallas Cowboys defensive tackle Bob Lilly retired, only to be replaced by some kid named Randy White…
Oh, and how ’bout them Cowboys? Jerry Jones last presser was such a downer, I almost thought he was going to get defibrillated on the spot. This team stinks so badly, Jones might even give up final say on football matters to bring in Bill Cowher someone that can get this team pointed north.
Memo to Ken Whisenhunt: there are two situations which can create a quarterback controversy. The first situation is where the coach, say, Andy Reid, has two guys that can win games for his team and he has to pick between them. The second, say, yourself, has to pick between the lesser of two evils and hope that whoever gets chosen doesn’t go out and line up under the left guard. It sez so right here that your franchise quarterback is still playing on Saturdays.
Nobody wants to play Oakland right now.
Nobody wants to play quarterback for the Redskins right now.
I mean, Shenanigans called out D-Mac for cardiovascular whatsoever? McNabb got benched for one simple reason: he was leading a team that was getting its collective butt handed to it by the Lions. Never mind the fact that the Lions have scored 44 and 37 in their last two victories; never mind the fact that these ain’t Matt Millen’s Lions anymore. Until the Lions gain the cachet of the Patriots, your team is supposed to beat them. McNabb’s team wasn’t beating them; cue Rex Grossman.
Defining “Mailing It In”: Carolina Panthers head coach John Fox. This guy might as well bring a chaise lounge chair to the sidelines because he isn’t interested in competing anymore. The way he figures it, if Matt Millen can get a job pontificating on football after the disaster in Detroit, he’s going to get a long look at networks looking to replace the likes of Jon Gruden and Tony Dungy.
The Cincinnati Bengals are cursed. Cursed. They have a great rookie tight end in Jermaine Gresham. They are getting a throwback season from Terrell Owens. They can’t buy a win right now.
How the New York Jets respond to being utterly humbled at home by the (expletive deleted) Green Bay Packers (the author pauses to spit) will say a lot about how far this team will go in the post-season. Their next game is against the suddenly-explosive Lions, in Detroit. If they go into the Motor City and handle the Kitties, all is well. If they struggle, give up a ton of points (which is very likely at this point…do not sleep on the Leos!), and perhaps even lose, this team will get eviscerated by the New York press.
This is why you should never fall for comparing scores. The Seattle Seahawks, fresh from handling Chicago and Arizona, get absolutely handled by the visiting Raiders, the same Raiders that have already lost to Arizona this season.
…aaaaand I’m OUT like Shawn Merriman…