Something smells about Paris Hilton’s arrest for cocaine possession by Las Vegas police this weekend. If I didn’t know better I would think someone had resurrected the Mod Squad, complete with bad actors and dumb scripts.
I’ll concede that Paris Hilton isn’t the brightest bulb on the nightshift. Her Los Angeles DUI arrest and subsequent jailing had national media and celebrity hacks in a ridiculous week-long Paris Watch that drove me nuts. They preempted Emeril. Just kidding.
Then Corsican police detained her for possession of marijuana last month, and she was held in South Africa for possession during the World Cup. So “slow” might be an appropriate term, but “Something,” in the words of Al Pacino, “is very wrong here.”
Let me get this straight. One of Las Vegas’ finest saw a “vapor trail” billowing from Ms. Hilton’s ride and kicked into hot pursuit, all the while sniffing the admittedly refreshing Las Vegas night air, and decided, Yep, it’s marijuana.
No fan of Paris Hilton am I, but where is the probable cause here? How does a police officer on a motorcycle traveling even at fifteen miles an hour detect one wafting cloud of smoke from another in a moving SUV? Anyone who believes that has never been on a moving motorcycle.
ABC is reporting that the officer, according to a LVPD spokesman, “followed the vapor trail and odor to the Escalade” Ms Hilton was riding in with her boyfriend, Las Vegas nightclub mogul Cy Waits late Friday night. As luck would have it, not only does this particular police officer have the olfactory senses of a South American anteater, but he is also a cocaine magnet.
Now we’re getting somewhere. When the officer consented to Ms. Hilton’s request to move the interview inside the nearby Wynn resort for privacy, a bindle of white flaky substance resembling that of cocaine jumped out of the heiresses’ purse in front of half the Las Vegas Police Department, as she allegedly removed a tube of lip balm.
I smell a Columbian connection.
I’ll admit to having had the suspicion once or twice that Paris Hilton might be a bimbo, but there must be at least a few of Conrad Hilton’s genes swimming in that brain somewhere. This story stinks to high heaven.
At this hour the police are refusing to comment on whether any marijuana-remember, this was the police officer’s probable cause for the initial stop-was found in either Ms. Hilton’s or Mr. Waits possession.
My suspicion is that Ms. Hilton is the victim of celebrity recognition. While she is probably guilty, this arrest has all the earmarks of a “lucky stop.” L.A. County Sheriff James Mee got lucky in much the same way with Mel Gibson in 2006, when the actor went off in his anti-Semitic tirade. Mee was later questioned by LASD when Gibson’s arrest report signed by Mee mysteriously ended up on TMZ.
Somebody should get Paris into a John DeLorean T-shirt. Now. Either LVPD comes up with a significant amount of pot in a hurry, or Hilton walks again.