Would a living soul be surprised to know I think a bucket of human excrement and a bucket of PC are identical? They stink, choke out the pleasant aroma of more sweet smelling things and are as worthless, as well a bucket of s^@*! Now THAT’S poetic!
Is it a violation of PC to ask a brother in a bow tie if he’s a member of the Nation of Islam? Don’t know if it is or not, but humorless folks don’t find it very funny, whereas I think it’s hilarious! I was scolded by observers for my non PC adhering personality. To check myself I went to another black acquaintance (Not friend. Everyone knows if ya mention ya have a black friend it’s an automatic proof of one’s racial bigotry), a Muslim mind you, an American born brother who converted to Islam, and I asked him. He laughed his ass off and nodded his head in agreement that brothers in bow ties is rare, unless one is a member of the Nation!
Is it a violation of PC to tell a moron they are retarded? Apparently so! And I know of what I speak. I have family members who have IQ’s that are borderline at best. I have the sensitivity to not call them retarded cause one can’t help their innate IQ and intelligence and unlike the touchy feely ones, I do not denigrate folks for not being as sharp as I think I am. But still, when a loudmouthed moron gets to opining and scolding me, well let’s just say I call’s ’em like’s I see’s ’em! Really chaps their backsides and that’s half the fun, right?
Is it cool to call a person of the female persuasion a “whore?” Apparently if one is a whore it is. Jerry Brown is a whore and someone on his staff said Meg Whitman was, so don’t go all PC on me now. That would be hypocrisy, and no one wants for me to think they’re a hypocrite. Why should they care, ya might inquire to yourself? Simple. If I detect hypocrisy, I call ’em non-PC names. Yeah, it’s circular – ya gotta be kinda sharp to catch the nuance there friends.
Am I violating some ethereal tenet of PC when me and my computer online gaming pals call each other “homo” as a friendly denigration of one another? In the online computer gaming world where we are using VOI to talk and play FPS games in real time, homo is a favored term for expressing love. “Ya killed me ya big homo!” is a time honored expression of love. No one calls one they hate or are having a big stink with a homo. So, am I violating some PC rule? Should I call ’em “fag” instead, ya know, to NOT be a non-PC butthead? “Pole vaulter?” “Light in their loafers?”
Is it PC to repeat the old hardcore Biker joke, “What’s riding a Honda and poking your sister have in common? They’re both fun ’til someone ya know sees ya doing it!” And to whom exactly is that offensive? Clearly I am not offended by it, and it is, after all, all about me, no? Are the sister’s of Bikers to be offended? I was kinda hoping it offended the Honda rider, ya know, as a joke?
How’s ’bout “Liquor in the front. Poker in the rear?” Is that another no-no? I can only hope! Is it PC to say “I was cleaning my pee-pee and it went off by accident?” See what I mean? Pitfall upon pitfall. I just ignore them all and am really totally freed to say what I like. It might surprise some to know that I am a deeply empathetic individual, but PC just opens doors for me to show them just what I think of them trying to cow me to adhering to their wishes.
If I disagree with the black guy am I a bigot, thus clearly NOT an adherent to the PC laws? YOU BETCHA! Is it NON-PC to refer to a black person in any tangential manner and use the phrase “Call a spade a spade?” One can only hope! I mean, c’mon now people! A chance of a lifetime like that can’t be allowed to pass un-seized. As I am proclaimed ignorant, hateful, bigot, homophobic redneck, I must latch onto the easy ones cause I am too f-ing lame to come up with deep thoughts and erudite denigrations, so cut my small brained ass a break up in here.
Is it PC to call the political opposition all manner of accurate, on point and empirically provable things that are less than nice? Where does truth end and PC begin? Methinks the two are not so compatible. Don’t these dolts (ooops! here I go not being PC again) grasp that the more offended they act, the more I will endeavor to offend them? Don’t they see that the more hoopla they make, the more hoopla I make? I confess my size and physical appearance does come in handy on rare occasions, and these are them. I can literally go anywhere and do whatever the Hell I want, WITHIN THE LAW, and ain’t too many got the gonads to say squat to me about it – least to my face. And therein lies my fun!
Not my ability to put out an intimidating presence. Not my ability to tweak their nipples as I so love to do. Not my uncanny knack for saying the most astounding things at just the right moment. Nope, none of that is the fun part. The real fun is the looks on their lame faces when I do my thing and they just walk away cause they can clearly see I do not play their games. Nothing riles ’em like showing them my utter contempt for them.
See friends, PC is bullying. It’s the lightweight’s way of getting their way and throwing around their authority since few can bear the scrutiny of being called a bigot, a racist, a homophobes, redneck, a global warming denier, etc. Hell, when they screw up the ‘nads to go there with me it just opens the door for me to really show ’em just what I am capable of saying. The fun of not living the PC life is to make ’em all go “Gasp! Did he say that? Oh my! Oh my!” See how much fun it is? Okay, okay, I confess this is my rubbing their noses in it, but remember, only those that pay my bills get to dictate anything to me, and then only if I am in the mood for it.
No check to cover my upkeep means I say whatever the Hell suits me and ESPECIALLY if it will offend the so easy to offend. I don’t do well with moral superiority and PC is that and the lightweight’s manner of bullying. Attempting to force you to comport to what they think is okay with them. Like I said, stroke a check or get the Hell outta my sight with suggestions about how I should live or talk. If one thinks my words are offensive, imagine what a swift kick in the ass from a pair of size 12, steel toed Engineer boots will do!
Apparently I am missing something here. For me PC is a golden chance to not be PC. Confusing? My work here is done! Oh, and did ya hear the one about the Rabbi, the Priest and the Baptist preacher? They all got together and agreed to push the Imam out of the plane sans parachute. Why? Was the plane plummeting to Earth? No…just sounded like fun! Or if religion is too taboo for ya to touch, substitute “a liberal, a conservative an independent and a progressive” with the progressive taking the place of the Imam. See…works just as well!
Oh my! That wasn’t PC at all, was it? Like I said, my work here is done! Now go emote some for me! Oh, the misery! And y’all read quick before AC gets another report of my offensive work and this gets pulled. A certain unnamed person round here loves to flag me and even more loves to announce to me that she’s flagged my work. Go back thru my recent catalog and you’ll see to whom I refer. Read fast y’all!