The heater went out in my 1992 Chevrolet Lumina a few weeks ago. Rather than pay big money for parts and labor to fix the heater core, I decided to man-up and go without heat this winter. A friend of mine mentioned that he had heard of portable heaters that plug into your cigarette lighter. That was encouraging, but Common Sense should have intervened:
Common Sense: “Do you really believe that a cheap 12-volt heater will warm the cabin of your car or defrost your windshield?”
Jeremy Patton: “No, I just resort to wishful thinking when in denial. Faced with the hard reality of spending big money, I usually procrastinate until the problem gets worse.”
Common Sense: “Blockhead.”
I traveled to my friend Calvin’s house last night for movies and video games. We had a great time but I started getting sleepy around 3 a.m. and decided to drive home. It was a perfect opportunity to test the Peak Performance 12-Volt 2-in-1 Heater/Defroster PKCOJP. I scraped the thin layer of ice from my windshield (there had been no real precipitation that night), jumped in and plugged in the “heater.”
About a mile down the road, the windshield had nearly refrozen, except for a dime-sized hole near the dashboard where the “Peak Performance” device emitted weak, lukewarm air. I could not see the road, of course, so I turned around in a driveway, stuck my head out the window and drove back to Calvin’s house to spend the night.
The owner’s manual claims that “This heater/defroster is designed to provide years of service.” Obviously, whoever wrote this did not spend ample time shivering behind the wheel.
The manual also asserts “Burn Hazard: Never touch the Heater/Defroster vents when the Heater/Defroster is operating.” There is no burn danger without heat.
Will this device heat your cabin? It barely puts out enough heat to warm your fingers. You would have greater success taking a deep breath and blowing out hot air. This might have worked had I coaxed my buddy Calvin to help me.
Will this device defrost your windshield? You would have better luck squatting on the hood and farting.
The Peak Performance 12-Volt 2-in-1 Heater/Defroster simply does not work. Do not waste your hard earned money on this practical joke. If you suspend your common sense like I did, do not admit it to your friends and do not come whining to me.