This is an article written in response to one that I read by a man named Joshua Saldevar. You can read his original article here.
Listed are the top ten complaints about women that Mr. Saldevar has outlined as pet peeves that men have. My article is intended to show the opposing side of the story, and the reasons that the aforementioned complaints are mostly just evidence of the sad truth that a large number of men out there just don’t get it.
10. “CALLING US FOR NOTHING”- I can tell already, this is going to be a veritable smorgasbord of insights into the twisted, self-centered minds of most men. This one is cut and dry: she misses you, she wants to hear your voice, bottom line is that SHE LIKES YOU. Stop being a jerk and open your mouth. I promise, speaking is not as difficult as it looks.
9. “OVER-ANALYZING WHAT WE SAY”- Stop lying, sleeping with other women, and hiding things from us and we’ll re-train ourselves to take what you say at face value and nothing more. End of story.
8. “NOT MEANING WHAT YOU SAY”- Maybe if you wouldn’t chastise her and tell her how ridiculous she was being, she would admit it off the bat more when she’s upset. A lot of women, myself included, sometimes avoid confrontation because all men do in the face of it is act like we’re being stupid. A tip: if it’s important to her, it should be important to you, and if you don’t care when something matters to her then you’re not good enough for her.
7. “WANTING TO TALK AT THE WRONG TIMES”- Ahhh… I told you back at number ten. Stop being selfish. It’s not all about you, what you want or don’t want, and when you want or don’t want it.
6. “USING PMS AS AN EXCUSE TO BE B*TCHY”- Okay. I’ll be honest folks, this one actually made me a little angry. This is a real thing, and there are real symptoms, and some women suffer from it so badly that it hinders their lives during their cycle. Look it up, and stop being insensitive. Because in addition to PMS and a roughly five-day risk of ruining a cute pair of pants at any given time, we also get to deal with:
*boobs (the bigger they are, the more annoying they can get. Ever try to find a properly-fitting chest protector for your hockey gear in a store that sells all men’s crap?)
*body image issues (thanks, media)
*pregnancy (constantly worrying about it happening, freaking out when it does happen, getting fatter and fatter for nine months until you’re forced to push something the size of a ten-pound, elongated bowling ball out of an opening the size of a lemon, followed by postpartum depression, breast pumping or feeding, losing the baby weight, and then eighteen years of… well, child).
*dealing with the staggering number of men out there that wouldn’t know a woman’s sexually-specific anatomy if it punched them in the jaw. You men have NO idea how good you have it that your equipment is easy to operate.
*menopause (you get to go from monthly PMS to constant hot flashes and a plethora of weird symptoms, ending in a complete lack of hormonal activity intead of an overload of it. Trust me, neither way is pleasant).
What do men have to worry about? Erectile dysfunction? Prostate problems? Major “yikes”, there’s no question there. But for crying out loud, those things generally don’t even come until much later in your life, while we get deal with these things for the majority of our lives. You boys have it so easy and you don’t even have a clue. So you can’t handle a couple days of PMS per month? Maybe you’re batting for the wrong team. Try sampling the “local cuisine”, and by local, I mean within your own gender. Does the idea turn you off? THEN STOP COMPLAINING. It would be like hating breasts… it comes with the territory, so deal with it. Did anyone ever tell you that most women hate testicles? Or the hair you have on your butt? So what are you going to do, go cut them off, have it laser-treated? I’ve made my point.
5. “JUST PLAIN TALKING TOO MUCH”- This goes along with numbers eight and seven. The simple answer here is: guys, if you don’t care about what she’s saying, you’re not good enough for her. If you’re worth anything as a boyfriend and deserve to be with her, you should want to hang on to every word she says. While there is a distinct difference between a conversation about politics, family, favorite movies, etc. and a one-sided rant about sales at Bergdorf’s, the point is, figure out what you want to hear come out of her mouth. If you’re lucky enough to find an intelligent, engaging woman, then honor her the way she deserves by reciprocating. If you have a flaky, superficial woman that doesn’t know how to carry on a meaningful conversation, either deal with it or cut her loose. No matter what kind of chattering a girl is into, she should never have to waste time on a guy that doesn’t want to hear it. End it and let her go so that she can go find that guy out there that will cherish every word from her mouth just because he loves her.
4. “OVERDRAMATIZING THINGS”- Sorry ladies, but I’m actually with Joshua on this one. Calm down, for crying out loud. Not everything has to be a dramatic Broadway production, although men need to realize that to avoid these situations, it can often be helpful to just listen to what the woman is saying instead of blowing her off and fueling the fire. The exception to number four is menstruation.
3.”C*CK TEASING”- Another testimony to the sex-crazed bottom feeders that are the majority of the male population. This one is way too easy to rip apart, so I’ll summarize with this: s*** happens. Maybe there’s something going on in her life that you don’t know about. A sick family member, a fight with a friend, a problem with a creditor. For all you know, she could be dying of lymphoma and she just gets distracted easily by things that are a little more pressing than your blue balls. The point is, STOP BEING SELFISH AND GO FIND A BOTTLE OF HAND LOTION.
2. “DRESSING OVERLY SEXY AND THEN GETTING MAD WHEN YOU GET MALE ATTENTION”- This one had both pros and cons. First, I do agree that women should understand that flaunting what your mother gave you will most likely draw a pair of eyes… or twelve, and therefore is not much of a foundation for anger because knowing what you know about men, ladies, you kind of had it coming.
However, this is only proof of the fact that men are pigs. If you see a girl out with a group of friends and she happens to have cleavage showing and a butt clad in tight denim that you could sink your teeth into, stop for a second. Ask yourself: is she visually scanning the establishment, flirting with men, etc? Or is she just laughing and talking and having a good time with her friends? Because like it or not, sometimes women do actually go out with JUST the girls for a good time. Don’t assume that she’s trolling for attention, because no matter what she’s wearing, if she’s comfortable and confident in it, then it doesn’t matter that she happens to attract attention. Wearing something that you feel sexy in, that boosts your confidence does NOT always mean you’re trying to feel confident in your man-trapping abilities. It’s not always about you. Sometimes it’s just about feeling good.
1. “TAKE US SHOPPING WITH YOU”- I’m sorry, but this one was just sad. Here’s a simple, hands-off solution: JUST SAY NO. If she gets mad that you don’t want to go, newsflash: she’s probably going to keep getting mad over stupid things, and therefore, probably you should cut and run. If she traps you while you’re already out, excuse yourself to a store that better suits your own tastes, say a porn shop, sporting goods store, or maybe there’s a boutique out there somewhere that sells manuals on how to effectively neutralize an itch in your crotch without drawing too much attention. Tell her you’ll meet up with her when she’s done, and next time, don’t go shopping for anything with her to begin with to avoid the situation entirely.
Furthermore, in response to the comment about trying on different sizes: not ALL women are self-conscious enough to feel the need to squeeze into a smaller size. Some of them are bloated from their periods and are having a hard time telling whether they gained actual weight or not. Some of them are trying to lose weight and want to see if they’re at that point yet. And oh, heaven forbid, some of them DON’T ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT SIZE THEY ARE because different designers make things differently, and therefore a size eight from Calvin Klein may actually be a size ten from Alexander McQueen. Just saying.