You have by now decided to stay with your husband or boyfriend who is in prison for a long time, or a lifetime. After making this decision, which will affect you for the rest of your life, you must prepare yourself and your family for a long-term commitment to this man.
Get several jobs. Not only will you be the primary breadwinner in your family now, but you will be the only one. You must provide for yourself, your kids, your retirement, their future, and your golden years. This means preparing and saving up now, not later on, or in ten years. If you have made the commitment to not leave your man in ten years, but to stick it out, then you must get your act together and realize that working full-time, much more than forty hours a week, is necessary to make ends meet AND to provide for the future of your family.
Plan your kids’ development. With a dad in prison, you should be considering the lifestyle of your children. With this in mind, do not think that living cheaply or easily is the answer. Habits in children are not actually formed from bad role models in school, but from living with someone with those same habits. Get rid of any smoking, drinking or drug problems which you have, and remember that the poor are most likely to have a need to resort to violence. So do not allow your children to live in total poverty and do not set them the example of doing so. Get your act together, visit AboveRubies.org, read some of their articles, download E-books on homemaking, sexism, and housewifeliness, and create a warm, loving, accepting environment. Control your temper, control your tongue, and deal with your kids fairly, or their version of rebellion may make their dad look like a kitten.
Prepare for your physical and romantic needs. In this category, you must realize that asking God to suppress your sexual appetite will probably be an answered prayer, but who wants to live like that? Instead, make sure his phone line is properly supplied with money, and schedule regular calls weekly or daily where the two of you can have phone sex. Erotic letters are also helpful, but there is nothing quite like the sound of your man’s voice getting you off over the phone. In certain states, you can supply money directly to his phone account, rather than sending it through to him, by using JPay.com.
Get socially active for the sake of you, your kids and his name. Developing yourself through education will aid you in doing some repair work to the family name, as well as in giving you a financial leg up. Keep your kids active with others their age, and network with beneficial and emotionally-fulfilling people so that you get the socialization that you need. For the sake of your children as well as for your own reputation, be very responsible and dependable when dealing with others. Do what you say you will do, on time or ahead of time, with good quality and a pleasant attitude. This will give yourself and your kids more opportunities than if you relied only on your current reputation.
Preparing for a lifetime or long-term commitment with a man in prison is going to be harder than otherwise. However, you can meet every obstacle and annihilate it right away if you plan ahead, stay smart and develop yourself.