Heeey, welcome to the new monday morning recap y’all. Yes, the ladies moved to Sunday nights this week and aren’t you glad. This means that we can start the week off with a bang, or as Kim likes to some wine in her coffee cup, but more on that later. Let’s start with Kandi cakes ok.
Ok,this is the second week in a row that I will say this. Kandi is the new host of the show Punked. She is taking Kim to the mats y’all. See, Kimmy poo is desperate for a new single and her fans(?) are screaming for it. They want a new Tardy For The Party like, now. So when she ever walked into the studio and saw La La Boom Boom a.k.a the next RuPaul sitting there, you could see the wine boiling in her body. She gave us the he can only reach a certain audience b.s. . This is true, he will reach the audience that can tell the difference between auto tune and a trained singer.
So Kandi has her sing her new song “The Ring Didn’t Mean A Thing,” and you can tell by the look on her face she is just setting Kim up. Oh sweet Jesus it was bad, Kandi sat there with a smirk on her face like, next time give me my money bish. The look on the producers face was priceless, and Kim just kept asking for curtains. What did she want the curtains for, to hang herself? The curtains can’t help you sing my friend. Kim keeps blaming the song for the fact that she sucks and Kandi just keeps rolling her eyes. She tells Kim she has a pitch problem and she should get some vocal lessons. Kim is like Whaaaaatttt? Kim then tells her how she sang in her second grade production of Annie, I mean raise your hand if you ever sang in your second grade production of Annie. Kandi gets all ‘Raise your hand if you have a Grammy.’ Booyah bish.
NeNe decides to have Peter and Cynthia over for dinner so that Peter can help Brice with his, uh,career in the nightclub business. The night quickly goes down hill as NeNe hits the bottle HARD as she and Greg argue over everything and anything. Cynthia and Peter looked beyond uncomfortable and this is just going to give Cynthia more reason to debate the whole marriage issue. Thanks NeNe, thanks a whole hell of a lot.
Kim had decided that she needs money, I mean, that she wants to get rid of her storage locker. So she decides to have a yard sale in the parking lot of a burger joint. What Kim didn’t realize was that is was going to be hot as hell and she would start detoxing 10 minutes into the yard sale. It is at moments like these when we see why Kim employee’s Sweetie. Sweetie who is always thinking has stashed a bottle of wine in the car, she fills up Kim’s coffee cup and it’s all good.
We really don’t see Sheree except to hear her tell Kim how she kicked the “Love Doctor” to the curb. Girl, I called that last week when you found out he was broke and he was sticking his hands in your mouth. I have to say, the less I see of Sheree, the more I like her.
Now buckle up peeps, because we’re taking a trip to Crazyville, population Phaedra. Why is this woman so out of her mind, crazy as a sheit house rat, nuts? First we get the privilege of seeing her tell the only member of Destiny’s Child that I have never heard of, how she is going to make her a star. She has the Midas touch and is going to take her from an ex-con, alcoholic, to a One Woman Show. Sure you are crazy, let me know how that’s working for ya, okay.
Then the lunatic informs us that her doctor is going to induce her at 7months, because the baby is so big. Oh holy hell, who are you kidding, you nutbag. Doctors don’t induce you at 7MONTHS, due to a baby’s weight. You were preggers before you got married. OWN IT BISH! Love NeNe’s voice over ” Stop saying that out loud, so people can hear how crazy you are”. Truer words have never been spoken.