Happy Monday y’all! I hope you had a great Thanksgiving with plenty to be thankful about, because my girls from Atlanta gave me oodles of thing to be thankful for! I am thankful for the fact that Kim’s right boob did not make a surprise appearance in her purple romper from hell. I am thankful that I didn’t have to be the one to carry Phaedra up and down the stairs because of her complications with child birth, you know the fact that she had to take the baby home and all. I am thankful that I didn’t have to reveal my freak number but most of all I am thankful for socks because without them Mr.Luscious would have made me spit out my chardonnay and honey, that is just not allowed.
Kandi is all about self promotion again this week and I say good for you! We not only get to hear Kandi Coated Nights but it’s held at Tag, her clothing store. Kandi has decided she’s gonna have all the ladies on her show and play a game of who’s the biggest freak in the room, I know I thought it would be Kimmy but to my unbelieving surprise it turns out to be Sheree. It’s always the quiet ones I tell ya. Like NeNe said,”Ssshhhh, hush yo’ mouth.”
So we find out way to much information about oral, anal, and all the things I never needed to know and then out comes Mr.Luscious, who by the way scared the bejesus out of me. Mr. Luscious who is beyond huge in EVERY aspect of the word, takes it all off and grabs our super freak of the crowd Sheree, who for all her I’m a freak talk looked at him like she was his mama, and then took a seat. Uh where is your freak girl? I guess he couldn’t produce his degree either, oh wellsies.
On to Kim who is feeling like she is all sorts of win as a mama because Brielle asked for an abstinence ring, you know like the Jonas Brothers. So off they go to the nearest jewelers to buy a diamond abstinence ring, because nothing screams virgin like diamonds. Now say what you will but you have to hand it to Brielle for getting the ring, even if she and Kim barter about the age when she can have sex, let’s give a 13 year old some props for being proud of her virginity and scoring a diamond ring in the process. How many people can say they pulled that off?
Kim also decides that she will get her family and Kandi’s family together for dinner at her parents house, so she throws on her prettiest side boob revealing romper, grabs some wine and away she goes. Kim and Kandi talk about The Ring Don’t Mean A Thing , go out to the car to listen to it and Kim does a 180 and loves it. Lay off the sauce love.
NeNe has decided that she needs to file for divorce from Greg and head to a divorce lawyer. Greg decides that he needs to divorce NeNe and heads to the local radio station and airs all of their dirty laundry. He invested 300,000 into NeNe and now he wants his money back. How exactly does one invest money in their spouse? Do you mean you put money in a bank account and she wrote checks, and is that really an investment? Will NeNe be on a ticker in Time Square? I really need to look into this because if that’s true my husband has invested a whole hell of a lot in the stock of Jenn. Anywho….NeNe hears all about Greg’s interview from her new boss who tells her this can be grounds for being fired (?) and that she needs to get her bidnezz in check. NeNe goes home and starts tearing into Greg, who had this who cares look on his face, telling him that he basically sucked as a husband. NeNe meant bidnezz and we know this because she removed her eyelashes, I was waiting for her to have someone hold her earrings and start throwing punches.
In the spirit of Thanksgiving, Bravo decided to limit Phaedra’s time on last night’s episode, but even with limited air time she still managed to say something foolish. So after Apollo literally carried Phaedra to the nursery, little baby Ayden Zeus made his first appearance last night. Oh and by the way lil’ Zeus is a cutie and you can tell that Apollo just loves him by the way he is cuddling him and kissing him and not calling him gross. Phaedra on the other hand is plunked down in a rocking chair moaning about how she is no longer foot loose and fancy free, yes we know, it’s called being a parent. While kissing Zeusy pants, Apollo tells Phaedra that he is burning up and she turns with all of her parental knowledge and explains that babies are colder than adults and that’s why he is hot. Holy hell I hope that was the pain medication talking.
Sheree decides to confront the Love Doctor, who in fact is not a real doctor but plays one on t.v., and let him know that it’s over. She explains that she needs to bounce due to lack of trust, the fact that he impersonated a doctor, you know all the usual. He understands her point of view and then asks her to prove she is a woman. OK, well Sheree did give herself a 9 on the freak meter, so hey live and let live, right. Right.
Oh, and Cynthia did some wedding planning with a dude that looked like Nathan Lane in The Birdcage, and that was about it for her this episode.
So what do you think will Apollo kidnap little Zeus and run from the horror that is Phaedra? Will NeNe kill Greg, or will she kill Peter? Let’s hear what you have to say!