Dating is the time in a relationship to really get to know someone – not after moving in together or through marriage. Going to movies, out to dinner, talking on the phone, and spending countless hours together does not provide all of the answers when dating. It is easy to ask questions, but people do not usually tell all when trying to make a good impression. They are on their best behavior when dating and getting to know a potential mate, and love truly is blind. Once the euphoria of new love wears away, the truth starts to unfold, and the red flags begin to wave – if problems exist. Some people ignore these red flags while dating. Dismiss important signs, and you might find yourself in love or married to someone for better or worse that will make your life miserable in more ways than one. Heed the warnings, and watch for the following red flags before moving onto the next step in a dating relationship. These proverbial red flags are blood red for a reason.
The Red Flags of Drugs and Alcohol
When considering red flags to watch for when dating, dependence upon drugs and alcohol is a major concern. People sometimes think that love conquers all, but not when it comes to addiction. The addict has to want to change, and contrary to what some might think, it is not possible to help someone if they do not want help. Tactfully try to encourage this person to seek help before dating, and do not become too involved. They might not choose to change, and the outcome could be heartbreaking to say the least.
Waving Red Flags for an Ex
When kids are a product of a former marriage, it is necessary for a person to communicate with the parent of those children. However, a fine line exists between communicating and becoming too involved. Life is easier when two divorced people with children can get along and behave in a cordial manner, but when dating someone special, too much chit-chat that has absolutely nothing to do with the kids can be considered one of the biggest red flags, and for obvious reasons.
Another one of the biggest red flags that puts a damper on a dating relationship is ex talk. If someone dating cannot get through most dates without mentioning their ex in one aspect or another, reconsider the entire relationship. Hearing about what he or she did with an ex whether personal or not, quickly becomes annoying. No one should have to endure this, and when red flags are waving, this one is at the forefront. A person cannot give his or her all to a dating relationship if they have not moved on from the last.
Feuding Family Red Flags
When dating someone and wondering how they treat loved ones, consider their interactions or a lack thereof with their own family members. It is true that when someone is dating and the goal is marriage, the family will become a part of that marriage. A family that cannot seem to get along is one of the most significant red flags that will wave again and again. Take the opportunity to see it while dating instead of ignoring it until marriage. If a man does not treat his mother with respect, the red flags are immense. He might eventually treat the one he is dating or married to in the same insolent manner. Women are not exempt from this type of behavior.
No one is perfect, but if anyone regularly treats their own family unfairly or handles problems in unhealthy ways, these are major red flags. Reconsider the relationship when dating. These red flags are silent warnings that should be heeded before it is too late.