Monogamous relationships are not held in as high esteem as they were sixty years ago. Granted, divorce rates have sky rocketed and many couples live together without legal marital status, but is the reasoning behind these facts a lack of commitment? Not necessarily. Still, for many couples, cheating is a factor involving at least one of the partners, usually leaving the other heartbroken. For those, like myself, who long for a monogamous relationship, I have listed a very short set of “rules.” These rules revolve around the initial commandment of “Thou shalt not cheat.” In fact, Thou Shalt Not Cheat is the only real rule.
1. Thou Shalt Not Cheat
To put it in a more positive tone, be faithful. Be true blue. Do not engage in, or even consider engaging in, emotional bonding or sex beyond your marriage. This one premise must be laid down in stone from the get-go.
That rule, dear readers, is oftentimes easier to say than to accomplish. In response to that fact, I offer some sub-rules for monogamy.
a. Always leave a contact number.
Okay, I will happily admit that this sub-rule is going a bit too far. To have to always leave a breadcrumb trail is ridiculous. However, I do believe that it is not ridiculous to let your spouse or partner know where you are, should they ask. A monogamous person should have no reason to prevent their spouse from knowing their whereabouts at any given time. It simply is not good form to lie about or hide one’s location. Take into consideration the possibility of an emergency or simply a surprise dinner invitation; it is considerate and kind to let a loved one know where you are, even if only in a generality.
b. Do not hesitate to comfort.
Some of us have had past relationships in which we were cheated on. Once in awhile, your spouse might simply need a kind word. An assurance that all is well and your heart and body are hers and hers alone will go a long way. As long as this does not turn into some kind of compulsive behavior on your partner’s part, do not hesitate to offer the assurance that is being sought. Over time, the need for assuagement will surely dissipate.
c. Show up when you say you will show up.
One sure way to strike fear in the heart of any loved one is to fail to show up a prearranged time. Following the initial concern over a possible emergency, there is often the concern of a possible affair. If you realize that you are going to be late or unable to attend, have the graciousness to alert your loved one to that fact, giving any necessary details as to your circumstances.
Keep in mind that these rules are not meant to confine you, but rather they are offered as a way to prevent unnecessary worry and accusations on the part of your spouse. As always and in all things, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Show your partner the consideration he or she deserves. Be open and upfront with your love and your whereabouts.