I’ve gone through college bearing the heaviest weight I’ve had my entire life. My life was sedentary and my routine was wake up, eat, go to school, eat during breaks, go home, eat, rest, then eat again and then sleep. A lot of my family and friends know that I’ve had a rough college life. Everything went downhill and my self esteem seemed to be below the lowest bar possible. I’m always haunted by the fact that I didn’t have a social life when I was still young.
I was not really into social gatherings and I preferred to be alone all the time. My last resort was to eat and eat and I sometimes eat 2 huge burgers in one sitting. No wonder I got so big. I actually avoided girls since most of them would just look at me quickly and then avoid me. I also do not usually go out with friends. Not only because I’m not really used to company but seeing them fit makes me feel bad. And of course, it was not easy to make new friends because of that.
I had this little experience in the latter part of my college years. I took all my courage and confronted what I didn’t like most which is to socialize. I gave it all to meet new friends and to be with a girl I like but to no avail, I wasn’t able to achieve my goals and my mindset was focused into one thing and that is to lose weight. If I lost weight, I thought that I would be able to boost my self esteem and be able to mingle with these guys.
I pushed myself and I was actually thinking that if I lose weight and look better, I’d probably be able to mingle with more people. My mindset was on impressing people especially girls. I actually went overboard when I got pretty thin. I lost 100 pounds back then but I imposed other people to notice me because I thought there was no reason anymore to ignore me because I’m not fat anymore.
Well, as the years passed by, I grew more mature. My self-esteem really isn’t all just to meet girls but it’s for me to have self-confidence and believing in myself that I can do things. And of course, I’m not getting any younger so I had to take care of myself.
But for now, I try to lose weight mainly to be healthy. Of course, there’s still a part of me that aims to have a good physique. I guess it will be hard to set aside the fact that I’m also doing it to attract girls. But a really good and unexpected lady friend told me, it’s not the looks. Self confidence and being true to oneself are more than enough and that I’m doing this for myself, my family and those who are really important to me. That’s more than enough to boost my self confidence and regain my self esteem.