Who left Brett Favre’s nursing home room door open, and let him escape? How did he ever ride his wheelchair out of the home, and once again into the National Football League schedule? After months of annoying publicity about retiring, not retiring and retiring again, the almost-41-year-old quarterback showed up at the Vikings’ training camp just in time to avoid all the sweating and groaning of pre-season practice.
Even with his elderly bones still aching, Brett just can’t let go of the several million bucks he’ll be paid to limp onto the field for just one more season. Maybe some of the pain will go away as he glories in the cheers of his thousands of fans and cashes those hefty paychecks.
The Minnesota Vikings almost certainly would prefer Brett Favre to stay retired and off the football field, but they’re probably bringing him back because they know another NFL team would be happy to sign him up. Some of the loser teams that are always at the bottom of the won-loss standings never seem to find a quarterback who can win games. For them, even a battered, old and crippled Brett Favre would be an improvement.
Another plus for the Vikings is that his appearance at every game will bring in thousands of fans who otherwise would be staying home and watching on TV. They’ll attend the games because they want to bore their grandchildren 25 years from now by boasting they saw the great Brett Favre in person play his last NFL game. It’ll be sort of like seeing Babe Ruth’s last home run, Magic Johnson score his final basket or the last game of Joe DiMaggio’s win streak.
Of course, Brett already has bank account amounts that could pay off the National Debt and buy downtown Minneapolis. Now and for years into his retirement, he’ll haul in more cash for commercial endorsements. However, as with all proud super-rich pro jocks and crooked politicians (are there any other kind?), he wants to stash away just a couple more millions for a rainy day. A rainy day in Las Vegas, maybe.
On a more serious note, by playing one more season, Brett’s already injured and brittle bones and sore muscles will be battered again for hours every Sunday by 300-pound enemy linemen. With all those hard-tackle injuries he has continued to sustain through his NFL years, he’s in for an old age of heavy medical bills and unrelenting pain.