TO OVERCOME OR NOT TO OVERCOME – JEALOUSY
Jealousy is not a disease. Nor is it a malady of any kind. It isn’t negative, it isn’t bad and it isn’t destructive. The very best short definition of jealousy is that it is an instinctive, emotional, pain receptor; it doesn’t need to be overcome.
Instinctive meaning that jealousy is natural; it is inborn, automatic and intuitive. There is nothing fabricated about jealousy. Man has nothing to do with creating the emotion; he should have nothing to do with trying to stifle it. Jealousy has been implanted in our soul, in our hearts, in our very being for one very important reason; to warn us of impending emotional danger.
Jealousy works much the same as our physical pain receptors do when they warn us of impending physical damage. Were we not to experience pain, albeit as negative as it can be, we could very possibly experience devastating and irreversible physical damage. We would not be alerted to many dangers that surround us. We would not be physically told to get away. We would not be aware of the physical dangers and we would stay around and endure them until it was too late.
Jealousy is emotional, not physical. Jealousy comes from deep within the most complicated structure of mankind, the soul. Were we not to experience jealousy, when it is needed, we could very possibly experience devastating and irreversible emotional damage. We may not be alerted to the dangers surrounding us. We would not be told to get away. We would stay around and endure the “pain” until it was too late.
We are gifted with an extensive compliment of emotions that are designed to tell us things and to help us react to our surroundings. Emotions are not simply created by someone at will. We can be taught to fabricate emotions, as actors do, or to restrict them, if required in extenuating circumstances.
We can be taught to “take the pain” so we won’t yell out when surrounded by a pursuing enemy. We can be conditioned to hold back our tears so we won’t be thought of as any less of a man. We can be trained not to laugh out loud in church or other solemn meetings so as not to disturb others. But we have not overcome those emotions. They are still there and they will erupt when they are called upon. We have only learned to control them in extreme circumstances.
Should we learn to over come fear? Is it wise to not be afraid of anything? Are there things we would do best to be afraid of? Overcome fear and you no longer have anything to fear; not even something that is extremely dangerous and perhaps even promises to be fatal.
Should we overcome delight? Don’t you simply delight in being delighted? Receiving that little something you have wanted for so long, getting that letter in the mail from a long lost friend or relative, experiencing an unannounced visit from someone so important in your life; would you like to overcome your feelings of delight and simply accept these positive happenings with a calm demeanor?
The actual dictionary definition of jealous goes something like this;
“…intolerant of rivalry or unfaithfulness.” (Also, suspecting or hostile toward)
“…vigilant in guarding a possession.”
INTOLERANT OF RIVALRY: If you are jealous you have no tolerance for rivals or for those who would vie for your mate’s affections. You don’t want your mate to have any partner other than yourself do you? You shouldn’t tolerate anyone, male or female, friend or family, associate or acquaintance, taking a place of importance in your partner’s heart, mind or life, over you. Do not tolerate your mate spending intimate time that belongs to you, with another. Personally, I would feel cheated if my wife did not step in if she saw another woman setting her sites on me, or me looking too long and too hard at another woman. I want my wife to swoop in and rescue me just as fast as she can.
There is far too much temptation in the world today and far too many people wanting immediate gratification of desires, regardless of whom may get hurt, for you or your mate to sit idly by while the other one dabbles in the forbidden. It takes both halves of any relationship to successfully resist this myriad of temptations. I will always be there to help, to support and to save my wife. I can guarantee that. Why? Because…….. I am a jealous man; I am intolerant of rivalry, this one’s mine! Keep your hands off!
INTOLERANT OF UNFAITHFULNESS: The second half of that definition of jealous is the one I really like. It says a jealous person is intolerant of unfaithfulness on the part of his mate. Not only will you not tolerate someone chasing after your mate or your mate chasing after someone else, but, you will also certainly not stand for your mate yielding to the chaser and allowing that pursuit to be successful. Is that a bad thing to not want your partner to be intimately involved with someone else, to be unfaithful? Should you overcome your feelings when that happens? This is healthy jealousy, DO NOT overcome it!
Exodus 20:5The Bible – KJV
“Thou shalt not bow down thyself to him nor serve him: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God.”
In this passage from Exodus, God delivers the Ten Commandments to Moses. He makes it clear to everyone who reads those commandments, there is not to be any other gods held above Him. He does not want His people worshiping anybody but Him. God demands that He be number one. In other words God is jealous, he is intolerant of rivalry and he is intolerant of unfaithfulness. He wants to be the only God and He wants no one else to get in the way! Would anyone dare to tell God “Overcome your jealousy!”? Anyone? I didn’t think so. You go ahead and be jealous and work it!