When the relationship is fresh and new, most couples talk about their hopes and dreams for themselves and their relationships. Often those hopes and dreams are of marriage and having a family. While most couples can come to an agreement on family planning, other couples run into a snag. Worse yet, they are unable to talk about family planning without a fight or someone’s feelings getting hurt.
While women will tell you they have the most responsibility when it comes to family planning, like birth control or timing ovulation. When it comes down to getting pregnant, men have a lot of control too. Men can be very helpful and giving when trying to conceive or they can be very difficult, making the whole process harder.
Sometimes men don’t want a baby because something within them knows, the current relationship isn’t the right one for them or a lasting relationship. If men know that and feel that, they tend to not want to make a baby. They don’t want to end up in a custody battle or paying child support, if they leave the relationship.
Sometimes men don’t want a baby because he is your best friend. You go out together and enjoy things together. Some men find the thought of having to share time with a baby, something they don’t want. They want your attention and all of it.
Sometimes men don’t want a baby because they have a child or children from a previous relationship. They have “been there and done that” and are ready for something new in life. For their partner who truly wants a baby, this can result in hurt feelings, shattered dreams or the relationship being destroyed completely.
Sometimes men don’t want a baby because of their age. Some men feel they are to young and want to wait. Other men might feel they are to old to be starting a family. Men don’t hear the biological clock like women do. However age is an issue for some men.
Sometimes men feel having a baby is just bad timing. He may feel his job or the household finances are to unstable to have a baby. If he’s unable to clearly see the situation getting better, he may not want a baby.
Sometimes men are experiencing sexual issues, which could be affecting his fertility and he don’t want to tell you. This can lead to some men not wanting a baby, due to not wanting to deal with his own issues. He don’t want added stress and pressure. If you suspect it’s a medical issue influencing his decision to not have a baby, encourage him to get a physical done. Most men are not running to the doctor or getting check ups like they should, encourage better health for him.
Men not wanting to have a baby may find it difficult to tell their partner. They may not want to fight about it or hurt their partners feelings so they’ll “act out”. Men “act out” in various ways once their mind is made up, they are not having a baby or going to be helpful in conception.
Men trying to avoid having a baby might make themselves busy or unavailable usually due to work.
Men trying to avoid having a baby may pull away sexually especially at key times of the month. If they don’t want to pull away or distance sexually, they may want to have protected sex or other forms of sex like oral or anal sex, even more masturbation.
Men may try to avoid talking about babies all together. Men may pick arguments about unrelated things to keep from talking about babies, when they feel the topic coming up.
While it’s rare men avoiding having a baby with their partner, may cheat on their partner with someone not wanting a baby. This relieves him from the stress of the relationship and having a baby, so he can have enjoyable sex again.
For couples experiencing or possibly experiencing fertility issues, having a partner that’s being difficult can really add stress to the situation.
If you’re in a relationship and having a baby will be part of that relationship communication is key. Talking about having a baby and when are key conversations to have. If one partner feels like waiting months or years, the other partner really needs to listen and hear why. Maybe there is a very valid reason for waiting. If one partner feels they are ready now, the other partner really needs to listen and hear why. Then take that information and work out a plan that benefits both of you. The conversation about having a baby might be one you have multiple times as your relationship changes and grows.
If things can’t be worked out during a conversation, you may want to look at the whole relationship. If having a baby is the only issue, it might be worth having another conversation a little later after both of you have had time to think. If there’s a lot of problems in the relationship and having a baby is just another issue, both of you can’t find a resolution too then maybe it’s time to change relationships and be with someone that wants what you want.
It’s never a good idea to trick your man into a pregnancy. This can often damage or destroy your relationship completely.
Having a baby is a life changing event. Having a baby is a lot of responsibility. Make sure your relationship is ready to add a baby before adding a baby.