Cheating in relationships is a complex behavior that can be caused by a huge variety of factors- a lack of self control, an unhappy relationship, or just being a narcissist. There’s no surefire way of predicting that someone might cheat, but certain personality traits and behaviors act as warning signs that increase the risk. If your loved one is doing one of the things below, it’s not yet time to panic, but a person exhibiting several of these behaviors is a potential cheater. Here are the signs that a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife, may cheat on you:
They’ve Done it Before
Cheating is something that shouldn’t be taken lightly, and someone who has cheated before obviously feels comfortable with doing it. However, most people cheat in a relationship at some point in their lives, so before you panic, it’s important to know the circumstances surrounding the cheating. A person who justifies their cheating based on some negative quality in the other person is a person who believes it’s ok to cheat during bad times in the relationship. But a person who feels bad about having cheated and learned from it is a person who may actually be less likely to cheat. Finally, a person who has cheated in every single relationship they have is a person who comes with a big red flag. This is a person for whom cheating is the norm, which means it’s highly likely they will cheat on you.
Excessive Porn Consumption
Intelligent people can disagree about porn’s role in relationships, and pornography has become much more normal and widely accepted in the past generation or so. However, someone who consumes an excessive amount of porn or who bypasses chances for sex with you in order to watch porn is someone who is actively choosing other people and actively seeking other people over you. They may have an addiction to porn, or they may simply feel that it’s ok to get the majority of their sexual gratification from people who aren’t you. If the latter is the case, you’re in trouble already.
Lovers of Strip Clubs
Strip clubs are often viewed as a normal male bonding activity and even women get in on the action these days. But one thing remains true: a person who is going to a strip club is a person who is actively seeking sexual titillation from people outside of the relationship. Because these people are real people and not just images on a computer screen, it’s a lot easier for someone to become attracted to and distracted by them. While one or two visits to a strip club (without secrecy and as long as it’s ok with you) might be ok, a frequent strip club patron is a person who is already cheating on you in his head, so it’s just one step till he actually cheats on you.
The Person Who Can’t Be Alone
If your significant other has never been single for any extended period of time, he or she has never had a chance to reflect on what went wrong in past relationships. But more importantly, this person is obviously terrified of being alone. This increases the odds that, if you aren’t available- either physically or emotionally- for even a short period of time, your mate may seek what he wants or needs from another person out of fear of being alone.
They Check Out and Talk About Other People
When your significant other is with you, they should be with and focused on you. So if they can’t avoid turning their heads or talking about the attractiveness of another person, odds are high that their behavior is even worse when you’re not there to supervise. You should be the focus of your mate’s attention when the two of you are together, and if your mate can’t do that, it means he or she may be looking for something they perceive to be better.
Lying is always a danger sign in a relationship, and someone who lies to you frequently is someone who is more likely to cheat simply because lying comes naturally to them. However, there are other kinds of dishonesty that are equally important. A partner who really cares about you will fully include you in his life and not make you feel fearful about asking anything. A person who excludes you from portions of their life is a person who is less likely to feel guilty about the dishonesty associated with cheating and therefore more likely to cheat.
You Don’t Know People In Their Life
If you’ve been together for awhile and your significant other has refused to introduce you to her parents or friends, this is a huge, glaring red flag. Your partner may literally have a secret life or may simply not want to fully incorporate you into his or her life. Both are reasons to run. Quickly.
They Criticize Your Appearance
A person who frequently criticizes your appearance is a person who does not respect you. Further, if your spouse is criticizing your appearance, it means he’s judging you by comparison to other people, which increases his likelihood of cheating. Even if he’s not cheating, however, this is an abusive practice and no one should be in a relationship where this happens.
Weird Views About Relationships
People typically formulate beliefs about the world that help them to justify their place in it. So, for example, a person may claim that giving money to homeless people is wrong simply because they don’t want to do it! The same is true of relationship views. If your significant other makes a lot of philosophical claims about cheating being natural, inevitable, etc., claims that monogamy doesn’t work, or other such things, he may simply be trying to justify his own approach to the world. A few comments like these aren’t cause for concern because everyone, obviously, has a right to talk through and figure out one’s own views, but someone who constantly talks about the nature of infidelity is someone who may be trying to justify something they’re already doing.
There’s no surefire way to detect a cheater and no internet quiz that will give you the answers you need. However, at the very least, someone who exhibits several of the qualities above is a person who is treating you poorly!