After watching Episode 3 of Survivor: Nicaragua, it appears evident that the casting staff of Survivor is now obligating themselves to choose at least one contestant whose only prerequisite is that they rode the “special” bus to school when they were little. How else can they explain how it is that Naonka ended up being selected as a participant? She’s like the schoolyard bully who nobody really knows how to deal with because they’ve heard rumors that she was dropped on her head as a baby.
It’s only episode 3, and already Naonka is being permitted to really make an absolute mockery of Survivor: Nicaragua. Between her assault of Kelly B. (who she referred to as a bitch earlier on in the episode – assumingly based only on the fact that Kelly B. had her leg amputated as an infant – way to go, Naonka), and her subsequent theft of the clue, combined with her hateful spiel about Fabio (based on the fact that she doesn’t like his hair…), Naonka is ruining this season. It doesn’t feel like watching Survivor; it feels like watching The Jerry Springer Show.
During Survivor: Nicaragua’s Episode 3 immunity challenge, I couldn’t help but hope that a barrel would roll over Naonka’s head and leave her completely incapable of speech. Or that one of the other tribe members would do everyone a favor and hold her head underwater for about five minutes. Unfortunately, nothing of the sort happened, leaving her able, during the previews for next week’s episode, to spew some idiotic rant warning Kelly B. not to leave her artificial leg too close to the fire. Maybe we’ll all get lucky and Naonka will fall into the fire. At least then she’d have to go home and viewers wouldn’t have to listen to her anymore.
Speaking of fires, somebody needs to remind Fabio that breathing in deeply while holding your face an inch away from a campfire can be hazardous to your health. After gasping for air, Fabio complained, “Dude, I feel spaced out”. Dude, it’s called oxygen deprivation. Look it up.
To top off a boring, annoying Survivor: Nicaragua Episode 3, the Espada tribe voted off my favorite player, Jimmy Johnson, at Tribal Council. He was the nicest and most rational member of the tribe. So naturally, they had to get rid of him. Jimmy T. (a.k.a.: Rain Man) and Marty, two of the most blaring narcissists I’ve ever seen on television, managed to talk enough people into voting off the best guy on the tribe; clearly only because they felt completely threatened by him. Way to go guys, now the dumb are leading the clueless.