Ever feel like your toddler is impossible to get to do anything because they always tell you “no”? How do you get passed his or her defiance? Do you yell? Do you punish him? Do you let her get her way? Or do you simple just ignore it? If you’re not sure what to do, then I have some tips on what has worked with my child.
Most likely you will quickly find out that yelling when they tell you no will only result in more yelling from you and your child and make the situation even more difficult.
Punishing them for saying no isn’t very effective either. You don’t want to teach your child that it is wrong to say no because in some situations you will want them to be able to tell people no.
So do you just give in or ignore it? No. My best advice would be to give them choices before they have the choice to say no. This is effective because no is not really the right way to answer the question. Ask them “Do you want to play with your toys after you brush your teeth or go straight to bed?” Or “Do you want to clean your room and then play with your friends or do you want me to clean your room and we’ll stay home?”
Another good trick I learned is to make it fun or funny. When my daughter tells me no she doesn’t want get dressed I say something to her like “What? You want the tickle monster to tickle you? Ok!” and then proceed to tickle her until she says she’ll get dressed. Sometimes we make it into a game by getting her clothes out of her closet and then pretending to try and put them on ourselves or pretending to hide them somewhere in plain sight for her to see and then pretending to look all around even right at the clothes and saying “Where did you hide that blue shirt? Is it here? No. Is it here? No.” pretty soon she’s laughing and will run and show us where the shirt is and by then she no longer wants to tell us no to getting dressed.
The last little trick that I do is to ask her for her help. For instance, if she doesn’t want to take a bath I ask her if she can help me give her baby brother a bath or teach him how to blow bubbles in the bath tub. She loves teaching her baby brother things and helping me take care of him so she always says yes to that.
Try the above tricks and tips out with your child and see which one is most effective for you. Sometimes you may need to switch it up on which tactic you use so that your child doesn’t get wise to what you are trying to do.