Whether you’re in a relationship, have been in one before, or want to get into one, you have probably toyed with the idea of marriage at some point in your life. Unfortunately, too many marriages end up in divorce. While any failed marriage surely has many causes behind it, one cause is likely that the couple got married for a bad reason! If you are considering getting married, ask yourself the honest question – why? If it’s any of the ten reasons listed below, I urge you to reconsider your decision to get married now, and wait until it’s for the right reason.
1. “Because I need financial security” is one of the worst reasons to get married. Sure, it’s nice to have some extra income, but what happens if your significant other becomes unemployed? Is there enough left in the relationship to make a happy marriage? Honestly ask yourself the question of whether you would still be happy if the two of you were broke. Wouldn’t you rather be broke and happy with the right person than rich and miserable with the wrong person?
2. “Because it seems like the next logical step” is one of the worst reasons to get married. Too many times I’ve seen couples get married because it seems like the “next logical step” in the relationship, even in the face of unsolvable issues or conflicting values. There has to be more to your decision to get married than taking the “next logical step.” It’s OK to get out of a relationship that isn’t right, even if you have been together for a long time and invested a lot into the relationship. When you find the right person, you will be glad you let go of the wrong person.
3. “Because I want to have sex” is one of the worst reasons to get married. This doesn’t pertain to a large majority of the population who are having sex before they get married, but for those who are waiting until marriage to have sex, the wait can seem as though it will last forever. Believe me, it will be worth it to make the wait a little longer to find the right person, instead of jumping quickly into a lifelong commitment with the wrong person for physical gratification.
4. “Because I don’t think I’ll ever find the right person” is one of the worst reasons to get married. Maybe you’re with somebody who seems “good enough” and you figure, “Why not? I’ll never find the right person, anyway.” If you are not feeling as though the person you are with is the right person, don’t settle! You may never find the “perfect” person, but that doesn’t mean you won’t find the right person for you.
5. “Because I just want to have a wedding” is one of the worst reasons to get married. Yes, weddings days can be magical, and you may have dreamed of your own wedding day for years, but wedding days are just that… only a day. What you are left with is a lifetime commitment to one person. You might get the perfect dress and dance to the perfect music, but if you are not happy with your choice of spouse when you wake up in the morning, none of it will have been worth it.
6. “Because I just want to be married” is one of the worst reasons to get married. Maybe you just want the romantic life you’ve always dreamed of or the security of knowing someone is going to be there when you get home from work. Maybe you do so much daydreaming about being married, you don’t stop to think about who is sitting across from you at the dinner table in your imaginary mansion. In real life, it will matter. Being married is a beautiful blessing, but only when you are married to the right person.
7. “Because it’s what s/he wants” is one of the worst reasons to get married. Marriage is a two-way street. If the only reason you’re getting married is that it’s what your significant other wants, that’s not enough. Most times in life it is good and selfless to do something for another person, but when it comes to marriage, you have to want it, too. Your spouse would surely rather be married to someone who really wants to be married. Wait to get married until it’s a step you both really want.
8. “Because I’m afraid if we don’t get married, we’ll break up” is one of the worst reasons to get married. Yes, in a relationship, there are usually two options: you get married, or you break up. If that wasn’t how it is, we would all marry our first boyfriends or girlfriends, and I doubt that would work out well for many of us. The fear of being alone or going through a breakup is not enough reason to enter into a marriage. If you are afraid the other person is going to leave you if you don’t agree to get married, perhaps you should let him or her leave you.
9. “Because all my friends are getting married” is one of the worst reasons to get married. It might be more convenient to go through life’s milestones at the same time as your friends. It might quell the jealousy if you are planning your own wedding as you attend your friends’ weddings. But when it comes to marriage, timing isn’t everything. If you happen to meet the right person after the last of your friends has gotten married, so what? Wouldn’t you rather get married later in life to the right person than have to settle for marrying the wrong person at the “right” time?
10. “Because of the military” is one of the worst reasons to get married. Whether it’s about the financial benefits, the rights afforded to spouses, or the desire for a more permanent commitment in the face of a deployment, none of these should be the reason you choose to get married. Marriage is a commitment that will take a lot of work, and even more more so when one spouse is in the military. The decision to get married should not be based on circumstantial benefits or security.
It’s easy to get drawn into the temptation to get married, even when you know in your heart it’s the wrong person or the wrong time. But when it comes down to it, there is only one good reason to get married: because you have found the person you truly want to spend the rest of your life with and you are ready to make that commitment. When you finally do get married, you will be glad you overcame the temptation to marry anyone else for a bad reason!
Also See: Five Things Couples Should Experience Before Getting Engaged