Chocovine. Perhaps you’ve seen it at your local store, and wondered what it might taste like. Chances are, you guessed that it would taste a little bit like grapey- Yoo-Hoo. And guess what? That’s pretty much exactly what it tastes like.
Let me back up a bit here, for the uninitiated. Chocovine is a “fine” Dutch red wine product that is made from red wine, Dutch cocoa, and cream. It looks like chocolate milk in a tall glass bottle, and has a stereotypical little windmill on the label. You can find it at many wine shops, liquor stores, and grocery stores (if you’re lucky enough to live in a state where hard liquor is sold in grocery stores). This sticky sweet “wine product” retails for under $10 per bottle, and weighs in with a pretty respectable 14% ABV.
The flavor and mouth-feel of Chocovine is pretty much just like chocolate milk, differing only in the way that Chocovine is actually a bit more sweet. The grapes used to make the wine are Cabernet grapes, a fact that the manufacturer is proud to tout. Not that it matters, because with all the sugar you couldn’t taste any difference in any grape used.
Aside from drinking on its own, Chocovine has some potential in baking, perhaps in a bread pudding, cookie, or cake. The makers of Chocovine also say that it makes a good mixer, promoting cocktails like the “Midnight Rush” or the “Co-co Quila Martini”, drinks that I haven’t sampled yet but which I am sure are just as subtly nuanced in flavor as their names imply.
The flavor can actually be pretty easily recreated at home for a fraction of the price by mixing milk, Nesquik chocolate milk powder, and cheap red wine. Chocovine isn’t bad, per se, it’s just sickly sweet. But if you’ve ever thought to yourself, “Boy, what I’d really like to drink tonight is alcoholic chocolate milk”, then Chocovine may just be the drink for you. I’m not ashamed to admit I enjoy the taste of Chocovine, low-brow though it may be.
It’s a drink that should replace dessert, not proper wine. But if you have a sweet tooth, a small budget, and no qualms about drinking this sort of thing in public, Chocovine may just turn out to be your beverage of choice.