Things changed a lot last night on Bachelor Pad. I don’t know if you understand this game, but I have to say I’m still trying to figure it out-as simple as it is. And moreover, I have this suspicion that the writers are making it up as they go along, like children playing with puppets.
I missed one or two episodes at the beginning, so maybe that’s why I don’t get it. People are making alliances so they can get rid of the people they think are the strongest competitors, right? They want to win the $250,000 prize. But then, they also want to fall in love? At least the women do.
Okay, so at one time there were the underdogs vs. the cool people. Then it sort of shifted to the singles vs. the couples, who were perceived as the biggest threat, the bloc to be broken up. But then last night, they sent the three single women (Nikki, Gwen, and Ashley) home (in three separate limos; what a waste), suddenly changing the game to a couples competition.
That brought a few moments of fake drama, as Melissa spun a bottle (and by the way, she is a natural as a hostess; where did this come from?) to choose each of the four guys in turn, and then the guy paced back and forth in front of the nervous girls, his thoughts on Speaker: So-and-so would be good strategically, but my heart says. . . .
So all the so-and-sos who were romantically attached (Kovacs and Elizabeth, Dave and Natalie, Kiptyn and Tenley), who also happen to be the “popular group” everyone wanted to break up at the beginning, stay, along with the borderline couple Peyton and Jesse B., who did not stay in the Fantasy Suite together, thanks to Jesse’s uncouthness and Peyton’s rejection of him (I loved her for that), so they’re friends but not lovers.
The other three girls went off in their limos, softly weeping.
So now the game heats up and, as in real life, the girls are all about their relationships. Elizabeth gets pouty with Kovacs when, after she suggests sneaking into the Fantasy Suite (“This is where Jason and Molly fell in love”), she’s upset because they have sex but he doesn’t use the L word (no, not lesbian!).
Now we’re in territory I understand. Don’t do it, girl! Shut your mouth! He already said he’s not in this for a serious relationship. At least he told us that. Now he tells her she’s pushing him away.
And she says, at some point, that she wants to help Kovacs win the money. What’s wrong with her?
Natalie and Dave win the balloon toss, so they get to go on a date together in a Lamborghini. It is obvious that Dave loves this more than sex, and Natalie supports him, suggesting that he give the car a kiss as they leave it. “You know you want to,” she says. What a woman.
Apparently everyone had thought that the competition was going to be some sort of trivia game about the partners, because they’re all running around worrying that Elizabeth and Kovacs are the big threat; they’ve known each other the longest, and know everything about each other.
Not true, though. There’s a scene where Kovacs is going over everything about Elizabeth: where she went to high school, her favorite ice cream flavor, her middle name. But oddly, when he asks her the same questions about himself, she can’t remember any of the answers. There’s some joking about her taking gingko biloba-which she can’t pronounce.
I don’t know why the other couples aren’t studying up on each other. It doesn’t seem that hard-except for Elizabeth. But they’re not, so they must know something we don’t.
Natalie and Dave have roses, thanks to their balloon-tossing skills, so they’re safe. Now the big strategy sessions are coming up. One couple will be voted off. Peyton and Jesse B. are worried, knowing they’re the ones. But wait-Natalie and Tenley brilliantly figure out that Kovacs and Elizabeth are still more of a threat (I don’t really get why), and so it’s better to get rid of them and keep the other two. They agree on that, and do some kind of sisterhood handshake. Natalie tells Peyton she has nothing to worry about. Peyton is happy.
Kiptyn feels torn. Strategy vs. loyalty is his issue. He seems like a straight-up guy. A self-proclaimed dork, but so what? He’s nice. He might have to side with his buddy Kovacs. But Tenley already has her pact with Natalie.
Meanwhile, Dave and Kovacs have been buddies from the start, with a pact to stick by each other no matter what, so they will. Dave won’t vote Kovacs and Elizabeth off, even with Natalie’s strong urging. And if not, what will Natalie do?
That problem is solved when Chris shows up and announces that they’ll be voting as individuals, not couples. Oh! Great! Tenley, Natalie and Peyton are all excited! They can get their way!
Yet when the votes are counted, it’s Peyton and Jesse B. who head for the limos.
Let’s see. Eight votes. Dave, Elizabeth and Kovacs obviously all voted for Jesse B. and Peyton. But there were two others. Not Jesse and Peyton. Not Tenley. That leaves Kiptyn and Natalie. Kiptyn went with loyalty to his buddies. Natalie is a turncoat; she went against what she told Tenley and Peyton she was going to do.
Am I right? It has to be that, doesn’t it?
Now, next week is the last show, and three couples are left. But in fact, it’s an individual, not a couple, who will win the $250,000. So everybody will be pitted against everybody.
If any of the women win, I think they’d share with their partners, but I don’t think the guys will, except maybe Kiptyn. He’s pretty smitten. Kovacs said he’s not into a serious relationship, so he won’t care about leaving Elizabeth behind. Dave too, I think, will do what he has to do. The only thing that will be heartbreaking for these two is to have to compete against each other.
I think Tenley has a good chance to win, since the finale is a dance competition (now they’re cross-breeding with Dancing with the Stars), and she’s a dancer! (Remember that, from Jake’s season, when she danced for him?)
So, I’m hoping for a happily-ever-after for Kip/Ten, love and marriage and a down payment on a house. Yes, I could be completely wrong. We’ll see.