She didn’t understand how cold the winter could be and all the feelings that came with it. Early fall brought in the warmth of a new beginning and with it a new hope for a brighter future. However, the winter shakes her to the bone, sending chills up her spine and forcing her inside of her bedroom where all she can do is think of the dark past that continues to follow her with each and every day.
That fateful fall morning her eyes and his locked, each of them too absorbed in each other’s light to look away. Warmth spread through her body to her heart and she knew it was meant to be.
Each and every day they walked, talked, dated, and eventually loved. Secret escapes from their everyday life added a little more color to her dark, gray days. His hand fit so perfectly in hers. His arms seemed to fit around her body. His heart and hers was a match few would ever hope to see in their lifetimes. Even as fall turned to winter, all she saw were colors associated with hope for her future with him. Not a cloud in the sky could cast gloom on her days. She was finally happy.
Then, one frosty December morning, when they had fallen asleep at her home studying, she found him missing. Initially startled, she brushed it off thinking to herself that he must have been late for work. He, like her, was a struggling student trying to find his way in the world. However, the note on her desk shattered her world and sent her spiraling into a fog of doubt, disbelief and hurt.
His words were short but soft but severe yet laced with love. He was to go back to his family across the country and even though he loved her, their family would never accept them for reasons unexplained. He ended with an “I love you” and that was the last she had seen and heard of him.
That winter morning had shaken and destroyed her in ways so unimaginable. She constantly told herself that it was a dream, that there was no way he could just leave her like that even though the proof was in his empty apartment and his empty spot in the lecture halls and classrooms they shared. Yet his warmth was still there and the ache in her chest was ever-present as a cruel reminder of their short-lived time together.
Now each and every winter, when she looks outside her window and wonders the whys and how’s to no end, exhausting her body and heart till there is nothing left but a dim, painful reminder of that cool winter morning. Life has moved on, that much is for sure. But the memories of that fateful morning will haunt her each and every day, like the cool, unforgiving winter winds.