Your doctor does not exist.
I hate to break the news to you, but all doctors were eliminated about ten years ago and replaced by actors who are just playing doctor. I know, at first, that may be hard to believe, but insurance companies, about ten years ago, figured that one of the major causes of medical costs were doctors and it would be much cheaper to hire actors instead.
So most “doctors” you see are not actually medical school graduates, but graduates of a highly secret academy sequestered on the grounds of a big insurance company. They recruit actors from various colleges, send them to You Can Play Doctor Insurance School of Acting, and after three months of extensive training, send the actors out to play M.D.s. which actually stands for Master of Drama.
Ignore reality if you want, but let’s face facts. When was the last time you actually talked to your doctor? Sure you talked to his receptionist and his nurse and made an appointment for six months out, but by that time you were either dead or cured, so you didn’t have to talk to the “doctor”.
And what happened when you went to the doctor’s office? You first saw the receptionist who told you to wait. Then you saw a nurse who weighed you and took your pulse, and if it was your lucky day, even drained you of some blood ..
Then you went in a room and waited until a “doctor” entered the room, hit you on the knee with a hammer and told you to breathe deeply, and then, if you were female, told you to undress. Hey that is one of the few perks of being an “actor/doctor”.
You told the “doctor” your problem, he nodded wisely, using “concerned look number one” developed in acting school, and told you, ” Hmm, let’s run a few tests”, also known as “standard response number one” in Doctor Acting School.
So they ran a “few tests”,you were sent home and the actor, I mean “doctor” merrily went onto the next patient.
Your tests were given to a lab, which printed out the results, which were read by a trained monkey, who punched the results into a computer and the computer told the monkey what medicine to order, he wrote the medicine down on a prescription pad, and no one could tell the difference as a trained monkey and a doctor’s handwriting look alike. The nurse called you, you never saw the “doctor” again and you took the prescription to the pharmacy and were cured.
And everyone was happy. You thought you saw a “doctor”, a starving actor had a job, but there is only one drawback to this whole scenario. The trained monkeys are getting a bit uppity, have started to think they are real doctors and are demanding Wednesdays off to play golf. The insurance companies, for the sake of keeping costs down and saving their profits, might actually have to replace the monkeys with doctors.
All we can do is wait and see. Meanwhile have a banana.