When news of Camille and Kelsey’s split first hit the news, rumors swirled it was because of her participation in “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.” And then of course we see him stepping out with a considerably younger woman and our sympathies immediately went to his poor, jilted wife.
Well, now that we’ve seen Camille in action, you have to admit, it’s hard to muster much sympathy for this perpetually arrogant, giggling Barbie doll. I’m sure once we witness the moment it all comes crumbling down around her, we’ll feel a twinge of compassion. At the moment though, the more Camille waxes about jealous women, pecking order and being attacked (drink!) her impending fall will no doubt be met with mixed emotions.
We picked up where we left off last week with Kyle and Camille ready to plunge steak knives into each other over this supposedly nasty comment Kyle made in Las Vegas. Camille swears she doesn’t make things up and Kyle counters that she hallucinates. Finally, an exasperated Kyle turns to Crazy Kim (who was present for the entire exchange in question) and urges her to share what she heard. Like a deer in headlights, Crazy Kim whips her blonde hair from side to side, desperate to find someone to rescue her from having to say what she heard. The one person who could have cleared this whole thing up decides to stand mute and instead, deflects the blame to Taylor, who she figures said something to set Camille off. Taylor’s not going there and threatens to open up a can of Oklahoma whoop ass on Crazy Kim if she doesn’t back down. An indignant Camille wails about “Machiavelliac” plots before she huffs out to go home to her sardine can.
The rest of the ladies try to carry on, though a tearful Kyle can’t understand why her sister wouldn’t just open up her mouth and say what she heard. Crazy Kim blames Kyle for not knowing her place and says Camille made her look stupid. The other wives jump all over Crazy Kim for tearing down Kyle, who was defending herself. Pinky Lisa expresses her disappointment with Crazy Kim for not stepping up to the plate and Kyle tells Crazy Kim she’s not being a real sister.
Adrienne and Co. get ready to attend her uncle’s funeral, which means bickering with Paul, who then stands over his rotating watch case. Later, Adrienne listens to the voicemail Taylor left for her about the drama unfolding in New York, but tells the grieving Adrienne not to worry about it. Way to go, Taylor. Adrienne chastises Paul for ducking out on spending time with family to go and drink with the husbands. Paul claims he was giving her space and after seeing he wasn’t going to win the argument, apologizes.
Back in the Big Apple, a reluctant Kyle and Pinky Lisa go shopping for premiere clothes. Kyle questions why she’s going through with the farce of shopping, since Camille will likely disinvite her. Pinky Lisa encourages Kyle to be the bigger person and go. Later, all the Housewives meet up for lunch and nobody’s talking to Crazy Kim. In an awkward attempt to make amends, Crazy Kim starts to blather on about her jewelry line and gives each lady a piece, but with no apology attached. Kyle’s unimpressed by the move and asks Crazy Kim again why she didn’t speak up. Crazy Kim does clear up what happened that fateful day in Las Vegas, but it’s too little, too late. She claims she couldn’t get a word in edgewise, which Kyle calls b.s. on. In a Johnny-come-lately gesture of solidarity, Crazy Kim declares she’s not going to the premiere. Kyle rolls her eyes and says the time to stand with her has come and gone.
Meanwhile, Camille seeks comfort in her “real friends,” i.e. the hairdresser and makeup artist she pays to listen to her as she ramps up her tirades against Kyle. But doesn’t anyone understand Kyle has a crush on Camille? No, wait, she’s jealous of Camille. Women just hate Camille. Camille was attacked! Camille is married to an A-list celebrity. Women are so catty towards Camille. Camille, Camille, Camille.
While the ladies are getting in each other’s Kool-Aid, the husbands putter around without their mates. “Bloody lion tamer,” Pinky Lisa knows Ken can’t function without her. He consoles himself by walking the dogs and saving the turtle from the pool. Non-Cowboy Russell, tries to coax Kennedy from underneath the couch so he can feed her, but whatever daddy’s selling, she wants no part of it. Mauricio seems to have an easier time of it as he and his girls go swimming and he teases them about boys.
It’s red carpet time and Camille’s husband stand-in, Nick, is forced to look at her boobs, hold her hand and comfort her about being “verbally assaulted,” by a “petulant child” who she refuses to be friends with. After the show, Camille rushes backstage to see her hubby, who promptly tries to rush her out (maybe his new girlfriend was stashed in a hat box?). At the after party, Kelsey joins the ladies and is nothing but gracious with everyone, though Camille looks miffed he didn’t push Kyle into the champagne fountain. Kelsey muses you can only hope to marry a decent and nice person. Hmmm…
On the way home, the women miss their husbands and single girl Crazy Kim jokes she misses them, too. She wants the other ladies to set her up on dates; Pinky Lisa has either a convict or a “wealthy guy with a dodgy ticker,” in mind. That Pinky Lisa – so quotable. Taylor, however, is not playing along since she knows Crazy Kim’s not playing with a full deck.
Pinky Lisa fills Adrienne in on the Big Apple doings while Camille cracks open “The Art of War.” Perhaps that’s where she learned about being “pernicious” and how to “eviscerate.” Nick drops by to check on Camille and says he didn’t know Kelsey could sing. Umm…did he not hear the theme song from “Frasier” sung every week by…Kelsey Grammer? Camille giggles that when it comes to pecking order, because she’s married to an A-lister compared to Kyle’s mere Beverly Hills realtor, Camille’s the big dog?
Next week, Camille goes shopping, Paul and Adrienne celebrate and Crazy Kim gets the hook up.