Forget about a race to Witch Mountain. “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” has really been more about who was getting to Scary Island first. Crazy Kim managed to stave off her trip one more week as Camille boarded the express train with a one-way ticket. Was Kelsey Grammer foreshadowing his reasons for inflating the emergency slide when he said he’s spent 13 years getting to know Camille and it hasn’t been easy?
Much of tonight’s episode of “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” revolved around an upcoming trip to New York, courtesy of Camille, to see Kelsey in “La Cage Aux Folles.” Camille looks for sympathy in all the wrong places when she tells stand-in husband, Nick, about the tiff with Kyle. He encourages her to clear the air with Kyle. Meanwhile, Kyle and Taylor go shopping for New York-appropriate attire and Kyle remains baffled by the whole exchange. Adrienne and Crazy Kim have their own shopping-bonding experience, but it is cut short when Adrienne receives word that her uncle has died. She jets out of the store leaving Crazy Kim looking bereft in her leopard print mini dress.
In preparation for the jaunt to New York, Pinky Lisa hires a hypnotherapist to cure Kyle of her fear of flying, mostly because she doesn’t want to be stuck with Kyle’s nail imprints in her palm. Pinky Lisa tries to pull the guy aside to get him to program Kyle with a quack-like-a-duck command when the pilot tells everyone to buckle up, but Kyle’s not leaving the two alone. The ladies laze around on the couch as the hypnotherapist supposedly puts them under, though Pinky Lisa doesn’t have quite the intense experience Kyle does.
Camille and her “blond-tourage” descend upon New York and her 3,500 square foot sardine can. Kelsey wants to stay in New York, but Camille can’t abide by being so “confined,” and gives it six months. Later, she meets up with her cancer-stricken mom while she has a manicure and blathers on about Hawaii time, her full work-up with UCLA’s medical team and how tired she is. Her poor mom just sits there with vacant smile and nonchalant nod and seems to be looking for her own inflatable slide.
The rest of the ladies, minus Adrienne, trot off to the airport to hop the flight to New York. Pinky Lisa reminds us she “knows everybody” when the clerk at the Virgin Airlines counter ask if it’s her first time flying with them. Pinky Lisa merely gives a fairy wave of her hand and informs the woman not only has she flown with Virgin many times, she knows Richard. She’s also looking forward to seeing Kelsey run around stage in his underwear. While they wait, the wives rehash the whole Camille/Kyle saga and everyone seems to agree Camille misinterpreted whatever it was Kyle said. The group pegs Camille as insecure and thinks the two should kiss and make up before the weekend commences.
While the wives are away, the husbands play at Villa Blanca. Well, sort of, because Pinky Lisa’s husband feels like his arm has been cut off with her gone. Ken tells the other husbands the key to longevity is to never go to bed angry and non-cowboy Russell admits he needs to work on his anger. Mauricio (Kyle’s hubby) thinks it’s more interesting to be around the women than to hang out with each other. Paul, who hangs on Adrienne’s every movement, thinks that’s bogus and spending time with the guys makes more sense.
Back in the Big Apple, Camille greets her fellow Housewives with hugs and kisses when they arrive at their hotel. Kyle immediately pulls Camille aside to bury the hatchet. Camille sticks with her version of events, that Kyle slammed her by claiming no one is interested in her. Kyle maintains she never said such a thing and was merely asking her about her spring break plans. Camille cries shy and says she feels like an outsider and Kyle tells her she doesn’t need to be shy or insecure. The ladies agree to put everything aside and go out for dinner. In the 20 minutes that passed between truce and dinner, Camille got all worked up about Kyle using the word “insecure,” (Camille used the word “shy,” which means the same thing as “insecure,” but let’s not split blonde hairs).
Once at the restaurant, Camille picks up her bone again and rips into Kyle for calling her insecure and follows in the footsteps of her Brethren Cuckoo Kelly and Desperate Danielle by invoking “what Kyle said,” ad nauseum. She shifts into some sort of detached state, with her breathy, little girl voice and dim bulb stare as she insists Kyle delights in throwing digs at her. Kyle’s not buying it and tells her stop acting sweet and twisting things. Camille apparently can’t fathom why people would ask her questions about herself and Kyle huffs she just won’t ask her anything anymore. She also recommends Camille ring up a therapist, post-haste. Camille smugly informs us that the more agitated Kyle got, the calmer she was and therefore, she won the battle. Ah, but who will win the war?
Next week, Taylor opens up a can of Oklahoma whoop-ass and Kyle and Camille get in the mud.