Ok, I will confess, I’m not a fan of Tyra Banks. Nor do I understand the appeal of the Kardashians (any of them, since they all look the same to me) or “The Bachelor.” Apparently in non-D.C. Housewife Erika’s world, you better like Tyra Banks, or else. Yea, Cat is “straight up rude” (not entirely convinced otherwise yet, though the season is young) but Erika took her repulsion of Cat to toxic levels, the root of which seems to be Cat’s aversion to Tyra Banks, of all things. Then again, I think Erika is angling for her own spot on “The Real Housewives of D.C.” (see Kim G. on “The Real Housewives of New Jersey,” and Jennifer Gilbert on “The Real Housewives of New York City.” Oh wait, she supposedly was a Housewife. Did she even make the opening credits?)
Cat was stretched to her breaking point tonight as she coped with her husband’s globe-trotting for work, while she’s stuck in “Chevy bloody Chase,” with filthy rich, desperate housewives who walk around all day swinging plastic bags filled with dog poo. Cat hints there’s trouble in paradise and coupled with her friend’s recent suicide, Cat’s in bad shape.
Stacie invites all the ladies over (Michaele’s invitation must have been lost in the mail) including her friend, Erika, who has it out for Cat. The Housewives bring their kids and while they make ice cream sundaes in the kitchen, the grown-ups retreat to the living room for wine and whine. Before they make it that far, Erika puts Cat in her crosshairs and jabs at her about being a mean girl. Cat warns her to lay off, but Erika goes after her like a lion shredding a piece of raw meat. Erika brings up the Tyra mishap and needles Cat for her “negative energy.” No one jumps on the bash-Cat bandwagon and Erika continues to steer that buggy solo. Lynda calls Erika out for being judgmental and tells her to get off her high horse (I just love Lynda), while Mary purrs she shouldn’t attack people. Cat’s not up to dealing with Erika’s slings and arrows and decides to collect her brood and split. The other ladies run to convince a blubbering Cat to stay, leaving Erika alone in the living room to contemplate the damper she threw on the evening. Erika reaches out to Cat and half-apologizes and half tells Cat she has a lot to make up for (in front of the woman’s daughters, no less). Cat doesn’t want to hear it and walks out into the cold D.C. night, clutching her children to her.
In Salahi news, Michaele has convinced herself she used to be a Washington Redskins cheerleader. Before she trots off to practice, she tells Tareq she’ll have a routine for him later. Who else wanted to burn their retinas off with an iron at that image? During practice, Michaele bops around, shaking her pompoms and accosting everyone with fake hugs. Never mind that the other cheerleaders want to actually practice the routine, which Michaele can’t master for the life of her. I wonder whose pompoms she stole for entry?
Gay marriage came to the forefront as Paul Wharton (resident gay Housewife) gathered the ladies together (again, Michaele’s invite seems to have disappeared. Oh wait. She was at cheerleader practice) for an information session with a local politico about the issue. Erika is also there and Cat makes a point of air-kissing everyone else in the room except her now archenemy. Lynda and Cat are in favor of gay marriage, while Mary seems confused about its impact on her (forgetting that most of her friends are gay.) To Paul’s consternation, Stacie and Jason are pretty steadfast in their belief that marriage is between a man and a woman and Paul doubts he can be friends with the Turners.
In other domestic issues, Mary and Rich sit down with their daughter, Lolly to determine when the hell she’s getting out of their house. Well, mostly Rich; Mary’s much more accommodating. She wants to negotiate for more time in order to work on her art and Rich reasons she’s got no incentive to go when the parentals are footing the bill. Later, Mary fills Lolly in on the gay marriage info session and admits she regrets saying the issue doesn’t impact her. Lolly is quite eloquent in her explanation as to why she’s for it and even manages to give Mary a refresher in Civics 101 while she’s at it.
Cat becomes the topic of conversation over dinner and drinks with various Housewives. Stacie, Mary and Erika meet for dinner and once again Erika gets raked over the coals for her behavior. She cops to being just a touch out of control while Mary and Stacie defend Cat. Meanwhile, Lynda and Paul Wharton meet up for champagne and they both decide while Cat is great, something is off with her. Lynda surmises Charles is the cause of Cat’s boredom and loneliness and wonders why she stays. Well, as we now know, she doesn’t. Cat meets up with Ted Gibson’s husband, Jason and rants about how much she loathes her life. Cat and Jason share some guffaws about the Congressional Black Caucus Dinner and she remains puzzled over the Salahis and why they haven’t been exposed.
Michaele and Tareq meet with a Virginia delegate for help passing some wine legislation. As they rambled on about why they need his support, you could see the guy’s eyes glazing over, probably thinking about the bottle of wine he’d inhale once he got the Salahis out of his office. Later, they meet with a ghostwriter to discuss their book idea which will tell their side of well, everything. The writer wants to insert some of his commentary into the proceedings and Tareq will only go with a publisher who will shell out a big advance. Of course – how else will they pay for that $12 million house they wanted Stacie to find for them?
Next week, Lynda bans the Salahis, the Salahis find another party to crash and Cat is over Erika.